Kenny Rogers is on my front porch, drunk and wont leave. How do I get rid of him...?

[Saraefayee]

ha.
lite him on fire.
then sweep him away

 

[Doodles]

throw a chicken leg down the road and he'll run after it

 

[froglady1]

Tell him you're not "Ruby" and you're not taking your love to town.Then put him on his "Wild Horses" and "I will remember You".

 

[Joe]

Walk straight up to him, look him in the eye and greet him in a serious, but friendly tone of voice. Then go stand just behind him and pretend to enjoy the view. When he expects it the least, drop your pants, aim for his head and take a nice little piss on him. I think that should do it.

This works better if your drunk too.

 

[angus3]

Sail his hat like a frisbee. He'll chase after it.

 

[mmfmmmmmmmmtm3ttmmmtmm]

Show him a picture of Miley Cyrus dancing on a pole.

 

[ELVISM]

time to get back to school dear... the boredom's totalled your mind.

 

[Ernie'sAnswers]

tell him dolly pardon is down the street in a water plug with kids!





hurry up!

 

[PaulD]

First question of the day worth answering.

Ok, here is what I did when Kenny was on my porch. Blow up two balloons to about as big as you can get them. Put on a dress with like a flower pattern or something equally ugly. Shove the balloons up to your chest. Get a blond curly wig and wear that. Drink a handle of Jack. Then approach Kenny very cautiously. He will eff you all up if you startle him. Now very softly start singing Islands in the Streams. Here is a link if you need help hitting the notes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiwcOaaRo1Y
He will wake from his stupor like a beast from its sleep and join you on the second stanza. Let him take the lead then join him for the chorus. Now when he hits the high note you kick his ass off the porch. He probably wont come back. You should start bringing your trash cans into the garage though.

 

[PocketProtecktor]

Give his hairy back a nice oily back massage, and pop his shoulder zits...

 

[kylieM]

Hand him your bottle, let him take down the last swallow
Then offer a cigarette and offer him a light
Then maybe somewhere in the darkness you can hope that he'll break even... if it worked for the Gambler, it can work for you too.

 

[HePeLovecraft]

suck his wang

 

[bgbbill]

sleep with him. it could kill him with no mess. just call the morgue to pick up the dead body!! lmao

 

[Gothika]

Sing one of his songs in the wrong key, that should get rid of him

 

[Gothika]

Sing one of his songs in the wrong key, that should get rid of him

 

[lobo27]

Put fire crackers up his nose and walk around with a propane torch.

 

[Megan]

Grab a rifle and tell him to get off of your property. Think redneck!

 

[Chester™Level3Finally]

At least he's out of the cellar.
Just ignore him and join us down here. The buzzards will have the best of him.