Make a wish, .. and have it corrupted!

Granted, but then the dogs run away never to return!

I wish I could remember what it is that I wanted to wish for lol
 
Granted, you remember and it was a big stash of heroin, which appears just as you're chatting to a policeman!

I wish I was the world's best guitarist.
 
Granted, but the next day a seven year old makes the news for being the next worlds best guitarist

i wish my wish will not be corrupted
 
Granted, that wish is not corrupted but as an evil wish-making-person i push you off a bridge into a river full of hungry crocodiles just for fun


I wish I had x-ray vision
 
Granted but in the mad rush for them to get the work done on time it is all awful and you must read carefully through every single bit of it! Not just your students but every single student in the worlds! hahahahaha (thats for ruining my xray vision )

I wish I had a nickle for everytime someone said the word spoon
 
I wish students would turn in their work on time.


Granted
but the students have been working on faeces and leave it all on your desk



I wish for world peace through topless modelling
 
Your wish is granted a little too literally, all models are now just a pelvis walking round on a pair of legs.

I wish Tony Blair had arms like a gibbon.
 
Granted, and with his new gibbon arms he will trap you in a corner and throw rocks at you for eternity!

I still wish I had a nickle for everytime anyone says the word 'spoon'
 
The wish corrupts and every time someone says the word nickel, a small rusty spoon falls onto your head!

I wish that everyone's nostril hairs magically cut themselves before they start poking out of the end of their nose.
 
Granted. Unfortunately, all those tiny scissors have now come to life, and since they have nothing else to do, they'll hunt you down until you collapse, and then they'll snip everything.


I wish I had an extra pair of arms.
 
granted, you have a pair of extra arms but they're not attached to you

i wish i had paint of a color previously unknown to the universe
 
Granted, you have the colour - but the reason noone had discovered it is because they had never looked for something as particularly hideous as this particular one. (In fact, it turns you to stone, or something - ok, I ran out of ideas here )

I wish for a monkey butler.
 
Granted, but all it does is sit in the corner and throw poo at you all day, only leaveing to bite you in the butt, which is its main form of communication. Unfortunately, it is quite talkative.


I wish I had brought a better lunch to work.
 
you end up enjoying your lunch tremendously so much in fact you deicde to eat it for the rest of your life and become ill.


i wish i had robot vision like in terminator 2
 
granted, but you'll have to find a robot with that eye to steal from and have it implanted in your own eye socket.

I wish I had a baby asiatic cheetah
 
Granted, But then the pack explodes while your using it and you fall 2,000 ft. happy landings.


I wish I was god.
 
your wish becomes true and you turn into a small Cougar_v203 statue, all over the world people worship you

i wish i was irresistible to women
 
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