Make a wish, .. and have it corrupted!

Granted, with the justice system gone, there is nothing stoping the murderers and rapists from doing what they love the most. your finally free to go on a shooting rampage, but as your walking down the street you get hit by a car.

I wish i had a cute little rubber ducky
 
Granted, but the duckie's possessed and gets "snappy" in the bath with you
I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow
 
Granted. Your boss just called and said that you had been fired, two months ago and you owe them the money from your last two paychecks.

I wish I could breathe under water.
 
You got it. Too bad water is now poisonous to you. Happy swimming.

I wish I had the ability to speak every language in the world.
 
Granted, but you now look like such a freak that as you walk down the street one day someone (possibly Slindsay) jams a fork in your third eye
I wish I could hypnotise people
 
Granted, you get so good in fact that you hypnotise people as soon as you look at them, but unfortunately you forgot this and looked in a mirror, where you remained for the rest of your life.

I wish I was unlimited.
 
Granted! You have no limits. This includes your stupidity.
I wish I had a monkey that could sit on my shoulder, do my homework, and take notes for me in class.
 
Granted, only it's incontinent. I guess you could always fix a mini potty to your shoulder!

I wish I could get some sleep.
 
Granted, However the handwraps are so stupifying awesome the neighbours are building a religion around them and you will soon be found a heretic and crucified... no comebacks

I wish i understood what people are actually trying to say to me when they dont say it straight..
 
Granted, but then sometimes the things you hear aren't the things you want to hear =\.

I wish we had a new prez. =\
 
granted, it's between your butt cheeks

sorry just had to do it




granted, only he's a clone of the old one :P

i wish for a computer preserved in a huge amber block
 
Nice one cougar - you didn't make a wish! You broke the chain! You finished the thread! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Anyway...I wish cougar hadn't broken the thread
 
Granted, now this thread goes on forever and ever and sucks MAP's bandwidth up like a black hole
I wish there was good stuff on TV today (I got my last wish and now have today off - thankyou, tendon injury! )
 
Wish granted, you are watching an episode of a really great anime when the screen starts flashing and you have a seizure.

I wish I had a pony.
 
Granted, but the computer chip the government put in your brain also shuts down, which triggers something that's supposed to kill you if the chip every shuts down.

I wish I was the star of a really great TV show.
 
Granted, but then your made fun of because your just a wanna-be

I wish I could be really sarcastic.
 
No problem. Except that you're so sarcastic everybody thinks you're serious.

I wish I could see through walls.
 
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