Make a wish, .. and have it corrupted!

Granted, you will pass your yellow belt in Pie-Fighting and will have to pay $1500 for your belt and your diploma. You will also have to bow down to your new Grandmaster... ME !!!

I wish I was a cat... (they sleep all day, and look good while doing it )
 
Granted, now you're a cat. Subsequentially, you spent a lot of time licking your butt.

I wish I could lift weights without my arms being sore afterwards.
 
OK, but man the rest of you is so sore you can't move anything but your arms.

I wish my gut would get smaller and my pecs would get bigger!
 
Granted, but now they're so big that you can't even get out of bed... and you're doomed for ever...

I wish my favorite soccerteam had won tonight...
 
granted!, your arms are sore everytime except after lifting weights! :P

i wish i lived inside a giant envelope

EDIT: damn i got beaten.

okay, your favourite team wins but a gang of hooligans assaults them at the end of the game.

i wish i lived inside a giant envelope
 
granted

I wish Angelina Jolie would visit, since my gf has a thing for her and wouldn't mind me participating...

D'Oh! Double leapfrogged! Still want my wish though - there's no corruption that I wouldn't pay gladly for this one!
 
Granted, but within seconds of meeting, they realize they have fallen madly in love and kick you out. Next thing you know, no girlfriend, no Angelina and you have an invite to their civil ceremony.

I wish all those crappy pills that are supposed to make your body perfect while you sit on your butt and eat ice cream by the tubs really did work.
 
Granted, now everyone looks like a supermodel, so looks really don't matter anymore, woman are now judged by their personality.
 
You didn't make a wish! May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your genitals and may your arms be too short to scratch!

I wish fall would get here faster.
 
Unfortunately I dont read so good. So your wish is to fall faster? From now on gravity has a force of 15 N/Kg only on you. When you fall, it hurts real bad.

I wish that my rooofftopicte would put his pants on.
 
Meanie!

Fine, your roomie puts on pants, only they are buttless chaps. And he ALWAYS wears them from now on.

I wish all the papers for this six weeks were graded and I didn't have to do anything else for the next week.
 
they DON'T take me seriously



granted but then you get bored outta yer skull and you start to go insane.

I wish I had God Like Powers.
 
Granted, you like God more than anyone else but in order to not disappoint him you must live a virtuous life forever.

I wish it was 5:00pm
 
Granted, although it means you've missed two meals today.

I wish I'd woken up this morning... rather than this afternoon.
 
Granted, you woke up this morning and had a bowl of you favourite cereal for breakfast. You left the half empty bowl in the kitchen, where it was hit by a stray cosmic ray. A chain reaction was set up, causing the milk to evolve into a rudimentry life form, which crawled out into your basement. In there it breeds and evolves into a small society. Slowly, unknown to the world, it spreads through the sewer systems, until, many thousands of years from now, it develops nuclear weapons and destroys the world. Way to go - meathead

I wish my furniture would move itself to my new apartment.
 
wish granted, but in order to move itself to your new apartment it grows legs and other animal features, eventually morphing into a pack of wolflike creatures which lie in wait for you in your apartment so you cant ever go in and have to buy new stuff and a new apartment whil still paying for the one inhabited by your mutant furniture.

i wish the red hot chili peppers would do a gig in my school!!!
 
granted, but then on the way to your school their tour bus got hit buy another truck and they had to cancel the show.


I wish it was cloudy and rainy all next week
 
damn u i love the RHCP why can't i have them???

granted but it's only cloudy and rainy over your head (like in cartoons, ur own personal raincloud) so everyone ignores you and you get sacked from ur job/ kicked out of university/ forcibly removed from everywhere you go cos they don't wanna be under your cloud.

i wish my english teacher left my school and Danny Masterson was my new english teacher!!!
 
granted, but then your family experiences an unexpected move and you lose your new English teacher.

I wish it weren't so stinking humid outside!!!
 
Granted, all the moisture is removed from a 100m radius of you. The boudary moves when you do, meaning you are perpetually locked in 30,000 square meters of desert.

I wish I had some food in my fridge so I didn't have to go grocery shopping on a friday night.
 
Back
Top