Mother in law complaining about calling and checking up on kids?

[APBTMom~EDD07/03/2010~]

Okay,so my MIL complains that I call and check up on my kids. She said it aggravates her and makes her feel like I don't trust her(even though I told her that's not the case) She want's me to quit calling and said that if I keep calling she just won't answer the phone. Now correct me if I'm wrong,but do I not have every right to call and check on them? They are 3 and 2 months. She never called and checked on her kids when they were little. How do I confront her about this? It is really irritating the hell out of me!

 

[star691]

You can never be right for your MIL and the way it was done by her, when she was having her kids is the ONLY and the definitive way of doing anything you might mention. Tell her if you cant ring and check up on your kids then you will be leaving them with someone else.
I had to stop my MIL having unsupervised time with my kids because she was feeding them bad foods (beer, boiled sweets, really salty foods, chocolate for lunch) and letting her play near a 4 ft step unsupervised, and near the pond, and smoking in the same room, and letting people I didnt know look after them while she went out or did something else. She was putting them in their high chairs for hours and leaving them there while she cleaned house etc, or forgetting to feed them lunch till 4pm.
Hold your ground! Do it YOUR way they are YOUR kids.
If she is the only person you can get to look after them, then change your life around until you can sort it out another way, just so SHE cant have her own way. Let her have her own way once, and she will just take over. She will want it ALL her own way.
My MIL told me a little story about how some woman had her kids taken away because she didnt mop the floor every day. Right after slagging me off for not mopping my floor every day and me telling her to butt out. Basically she was threatening me that if I didnt do my housework the way SHE wanted it done, she would report me to social services and try and take my kids for herself. Maybe yours isnt that bad, but even so dont let ANYONE walk all over you where it comes to your kids. If you cant even call up to talk to them or check on them you dont know where she has taken them, or what she is doing with them. WHY does she need so much clear time with them where you cant get to them or find out if they are ok? What is she doing to them that she dont want you to find out about???????

 

[Tricia]

tell her your child is your responsibility you like to know they are ok to talk to them and that if she was to not answer you would be straight there or panic something was wrong sending in the police how would she feel if you didnt check up something went wrong and you didnt answer your phone. tell her if she is not willing to accept you have a right to call you will take away her time alone with your children not because you dont trust her but because they are your children and its your right to do so any childcare setting will allow you to call and check on your child many times iv called to see my sons ok if he has had a bad night or been poorly or complained of feeling ill that morning why should it be diffeent with her. explain that while you appreciate what she is doing and that she did not feel the need many things in the world have changed now compared tp when your husband was young. my eldest sons nan use to try pushing me about if i called when her and his dad had him i said his my child if i want to i will else il remove him permanently from your care and ul be supervised guess yours isnt as simple. imlaws sometimes u gotta love em other times they just grate on you

 

[omegajasmine]

Well considering I don't get along with my MIL, then I would keep calling. If she quits answering then I would either go to her house or call police.

Yes, you have every right to check on you children given their young age.

 

[sweet]

Stop letting them go over there. Period. You are the mother and can call 50 million times if you want to