My girlfriend took our 17 month old child on vacation and lied about...

ASKQ1

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...returning home. She threatened to stay.? Before she left we purchased a one way flight with the agreement to purchase the return trip a week later. It was agreed that she was going to be gone for twenty days and then come back. Once she had been gone for six days I called and told her that I was going to purchase her return tickets for the original agreed date. She told me to proceed in purchasing the tickets, which I did about an hour after speaking with her. Now fast forward to a couple of days before their scheduled flight she tells me that she's never coming back. I'm very worried, I've missed our child greatly these past three weeks and now she's dropped this bomb on me right before the holiday season. She said that if I really love my child that I'll do what I have to do, change my life around, and be with him, or I can be one of those father's who doesn't take care of their kids. What do I do?

Some background on us: No violence, drugs, crimes, infidelities, or any major problem. Of course we have our issues, but find a couple that doesn't. Most of our problems stem from household duties and things of that sort.

I don't know what to do, I feel helpless. I need help. There has to be something that can be done?
@R2K: No, those are our issues. Regular stuff. Maybe some individuals men or women might take them in different ways, but to me they seem like problems that many couples face. And what I listed above is what's going on. If you have nothing constructive to add, please leave.

@looking over your shoulder: She's the mother, she's not some stranger. I don't see how wrong it is for a mother to go visit her family that hasn't seen our son since he was 4 months old. And please don't touch on subjects that you clearly have no clue about. I wouldn't be posting this question if I wasn't an adequate parent.

@ladywildcat: I've pretty much done what you've said in my previous conversation with her, but she's not coming back. She said that she's going to court in that state and that she's staying put.

I'm in a tough position she's undocumented and the last thing I want is for her to get in any form of trouble from court battles. I'm upset, but I wish her no harm. She's my son's mother.
 
maybe your definition of "issues" is different than hers, or maybe she's a drama queen. or maybe you're not telling us the whole story. really, yahoo answers is not the place for this. Either you're not saying everything about why she's not coming home, she's crazy, or both, you should really find a different answer.

Short answer- do what she says.
 
And they say that men are pigs! The truth is, people can be sneaky, deceiving liars -- and many of these people are women.

If she has issues with you, she should have been adult enough to address them with you face-to-face. Deceiving you as to her travel plans, then basically holding your child hostage until you agree to her "demands," says a lot about her character. She's a real piece of work.

She's trying to manipulate you, and she's using your child as your manipulation tool. Why you're putting up with this is beyond me.

Tell her to get her a-s-s home, tell her to bring your child back home, and tell her that you're not going to put up with her lying, deceitful nonsense. Tell her that if she has a problem with you, that she should be adult enough to sit down with you and talk them out. Her behavior is unacceptable.

If she's not prepared to start acting like an adult, tell her to hit the road -- and to prepare for one hell of a child-custody fight.
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