lagartija_azul84
New member
- Nov 20, 2008
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I am 27 years old. My Mum has always been kind of bipolar in the sense that one day she's happy and loving and the other she transforms in an angry person who just lashes out at me, criticises me and says horrible things ("You've always been a disappointment", "I never liked your presents", "Your boyfriend is horrible", etc).
We live in different countries and when she's away she's OK, but every time she comes to visit she finds a way to get upset and then takes the argument to the extreme.
This time she got upset as I was feeling faint and I told her to stop talking for a sec as I was unwell. She thought this was extremely rude. I tried to apologise and cooked dinner for her but she continued attacking em for the whole night saying the food was horrible, I'm a bad person etc.
The morning after she said she wanted to sell my house as I'm incapable of living alone (NB I have a good job in London and am perfectly capable of looking after myself) I was exaspereted at that point at told her "Fine, but I won't put my signature for that"
She then went ballistic and said she never wants to see me again and our relationship is over.
My Dad is very submissive and doesn't really say anything because he's scared of her - my little brother (twelve) is very angry at this whole situation especially as my Mum said I don't really love him (which is a big lie!)
I feel so sad now but also so pissed off - my Mum says I should "respect" her no matter what she says and does - I told her respect goes both ways and I should be respected as a daughter as well. But she doesn't understand.
I kind of feel it's better if we do stay apart as she wants - but I'm scared of losing my brother and at the same time my Dad is begging me to go and apologise all the time (which I did but she keeps saying she doesn't want and talk to me).
I called her now to ask how she is but she says she's fine as I'm not there and doesn't want me in her life anymore.
What should I do? I want to keep minimum contact (phone - brief visits) and be the bigger person here but having the door slammed in the face hurts every time.
We live in different countries and when she's away she's OK, but every time she comes to visit she finds a way to get upset and then takes the argument to the extreme.
This time she got upset as I was feeling faint and I told her to stop talking for a sec as I was unwell. She thought this was extremely rude. I tried to apologise and cooked dinner for her but she continued attacking em for the whole night saying the food was horrible, I'm a bad person etc.
The morning after she said she wanted to sell my house as I'm incapable of living alone (NB I have a good job in London and am perfectly capable of looking after myself) I was exaspereted at that point at told her "Fine, but I won't put my signature for that"
She then went ballistic and said she never wants to see me again and our relationship is over.
My Dad is very submissive and doesn't really say anything because he's scared of her - my little brother (twelve) is very angry at this whole situation especially as my Mum said I don't really love him (which is a big lie!)
I feel so sad now but also so pissed off - my Mum says I should "respect" her no matter what she says and does - I told her respect goes both ways and I should be respected as a daughter as well. But she doesn't understand.
I kind of feel it's better if we do stay apart as she wants - but I'm scared of losing my brother and at the same time my Dad is begging me to go and apologise all the time (which I did but she keeps saying she doesn't want and talk to me).
I called her now to ask how she is but she says she's fine as I'm not there and doesn't want me in her life anymore.
What should I do? I want to keep minimum contact (phone - brief visits) and be the bigger person here but having the door slammed in the face hurts every time.