This is a very VERY rough draft. Could you please give me a couple pointers or ideas? Is the idea any good? (I'm a first time horror writer. It's for school)
Main Idea: Luke Mattais is guy in his 27. He recently broke up with his long -time girlfriend and lost his job. Nothing is going right for him. He goes to a bar in self-pity. Longing for a friend to tell all his issues to, he starts talking to the bartender. The woman on the bar stool next to him overhears and they start up a conversation. By the end of the night, they exchange phone numbers and plan to meet the next day. They become really good friends and they hang out a lot.
After a while she starts to act weird. She has a bandaged hand that she keeps quiet. She won’t let him in her house anymore. He finds spiritual books under her couch cushion and she snaps in his face with the demonic gleam in her eyes.
They plan to watch a meteor shower (which he is really interested in) and she tells him the best place to view it is in the corn field outside her home. They start walking and she loses her happy smile for and dull blank stare. They get to the field, to a spot that’s cleared out. They lay on a blanket, and she hands him a beer. They drink, talk and wait for the shower to start. He feels woozy and passes out. He awakes on a wooded scarecrow post. Miranda is sharping a knife while 3 other people stand around her. They are all singing something quietly. He screams out but it only comes out as a squeak. Hearing this, Miranda looks up at him with a hellish smile and a demonic gleam in her eyes. Kills him.
Luke Mattais:
Miranda Vougel: (Her parents were in a religious cult. They would sacrifice people’s blood to their God. When she was young she witnessed her parent’s participation in the cult. Their cult wasn’t as efficient and they got caught. Miranda was sent to a foster home where life was very difficult for her. She practiced on small animals the type of sacrifice she saw her parents commit. At age 18 she escaped and formed her own cult with 2-3 friends from the foster care who were so mentally damaged that they followed her every command. Her strategy was to kill in a secluded corn maze, tie them to a scarecrow post and slit their neck. The blood would be an offering to the same God her parent’s offered too. Her victims she would scope out in bars, coffee shop, and public places. She would create close relationships and then offer them to her God.) She is about 25. She has long dark hair and green eyes.
Main Idea: Luke Mattais is guy in his 27. He recently broke up with his long -time girlfriend and lost his job. Nothing is going right for him. He goes to a bar in self-pity. Longing for a friend to tell all his issues to, he starts talking to the bartender. The woman on the bar stool next to him overhears and they start up a conversation. By the end of the night, they exchange phone numbers and plan to meet the next day. They become really good friends and they hang out a lot.
After a while she starts to act weird. She has a bandaged hand that she keeps quiet. She won’t let him in her house anymore. He finds spiritual books under her couch cushion and she snaps in his face with the demonic gleam in her eyes.
They plan to watch a meteor shower (which he is really interested in) and she tells him the best place to view it is in the corn field outside her home. They start walking and she loses her happy smile for and dull blank stare. They get to the field, to a spot that’s cleared out. They lay on a blanket, and she hands him a beer. They drink, talk and wait for the shower to start. He feels woozy and passes out. He awakes on a wooded scarecrow post. Miranda is sharping a knife while 3 other people stand around her. They are all singing something quietly. He screams out but it only comes out as a squeak. Hearing this, Miranda looks up at him with a hellish smile and a demonic gleam in her eyes. Kills him.
Luke Mattais:
Miranda Vougel: (Her parents were in a religious cult. They would sacrifice people’s blood to their God. When she was young she witnessed her parent’s participation in the cult. Their cult wasn’t as efficient and they got caught. Miranda was sent to a foster home where life was very difficult for her. She practiced on small animals the type of sacrifice she saw her parents commit. At age 18 she escaped and formed her own cult with 2-3 friends from the foster care who were so mentally damaged that they followed her every command. Her strategy was to kill in a secluded corn maze, tie them to a scarecrow post and slit their neck. The blood would be an offering to the same God her parent’s offered too. Her victims she would scope out in bars, coffee shop, and public places. She would create close relationships and then offer them to her God.) She is about 25. She has long dark hair and green eyes.