Need some relationship Advice.. Me and my B/f are arguing. Can you mediate.?

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missthang1

New member
OK.. Here is the argument.
some back ground:
My b/f has a friend that is a girl that is Lesbian.. But has two kids because she was married to a man at one time. I have Never met her but he says they are friends. She doesn't call and text out of ordinary, She text him out of the blue a couple months ago and now again. OK..

Here is the issue:
She text a couple months back and was like whats up Babe? I ask him what is that all about and he then tells me her background. I said regardless of her being a lesbian she does not need to call you Babe, Baby, Bay. Nothing. To me those are personal names that you call someone. I call him Babe or baby. So, I feel it is disrespectful for another women to call him that regardless if she is gay or not.

He said that is how she is and she calls everyone babe. So, I text her back and was like hey whats up you know I am married.. she was like ok.. and we haven't heard from her in months. He never told her to stop calling him Babe nothing. I honestly feel it is disrespectful to me and he does not see this. So she txt him out of the blue tonight like "by bay bay" so I seen it, showed him and text her back a "?" she replied Whats up Babe? Automatically I get pissed. So we get into an argument because he said we have been though this and it is not a big deal because she said it all of the time. But I have never met her so I dont know how he is. He has also told me in the past he wont bring her around me because she would hit on me and it would piss him off.

I am almost 7 months preg and very emotion and start arguments but I feel this is one that is in my favor. Am I over reacting? Please be detailed in your response so we both can read and show everyone's opinion..
 
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LONG"D"

New member
That women don't have any respect for your relationship !

Your husband should have explained to her that you don't like her calling him baby...etc.. !

Don't by that gay crap either ! She really don't need to be texting your husband !

I think she is just being rude !
 
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AnnElizabeth

New member
Some people are like that. My friend calls everyone Honey/hon. That is probably just slang to her. If this is the biggest problem in your relationship, I would let it go. Is there a deeper issue with him cheating or a past relationship where someone cheated that is making you this crazy over a word?
 
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pictureshygirl

New member
Everyone one of us is different in our emotions. Some people would think nothing of their spouinbeing called babe by someone else, yet for others it creates a boundary that was crossed that feels too intimate. You feel pet names such as babe belong between you and your husband only. So her calling him babe upsets you because you feel she is somehow being closer than just a friend. Your husband explains that she calls everyone that so it is no big deal. The real problem here is that your husband has not validated your feelings and you have shown a lack of understanding for the explanation he gave you. The real issue is how he refuses to introduce this female friend to you with the excuse that he fears she may hit on you. I feel this excuse is something he made up to avoid introducing her to you, as to why I am not clear. So what if she hits on you, you are not into women so this should not be a cause of concern for him. And, if he thinks so little of her that she would actually hit on his own wife, then this indicates he has no trust in her as the friend he calls her to be. Something is not right here. If he had nothing to hide he would introduce her to you so that you can at least lay to rest some fear and insecurity issues within you. Your husband needs to stop putting this other woman's feelings as a priority over how you feel and he needs to stop hiding her from you. Otherwise she becomes this mysterious other woman who is calling and texting your husband leaving you to wonder if there is more to their friendship than what he is saying. You two have to build on trust. To do so means you both do what it takes to reasure each other. Your husband needs to understand that most women will feel uncomfortable and somewhat threatened by another female calling and texting even if he calls her a friend. The problem with this is that she is his friend and he does not make her your friend. This leaves you feeling on the outside looking in. You both need to work together to build trust and this is done with putting each others feelings as a priority without leaving respect for each other out. I hope I have helped in answering your question.
 
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Andy

Member
yes you are over reacting. there are just some people who say "babe" and "honey" even if they have no sexual intention or connection with the guy. it sounds like your just jealous (and i know you wont admit it) about her, shes a lesbian and obviously doesn't like your bf. let it go
 
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t

Member
The woman (lesbian or straight) should not be calling your man those names. If she's a friend, why not call him "bud", "dude" or "dog", or whatever else two guys would call each other.

If a guy called your man "babe", or "baby" how would that make him feel? Would it freak him out? If it would, no one else should call him that either. Problem solved.

On the other side of the coin, pregnancy does heighten your emotional state and I do see where you are coming from, but this is a fairly small thing, especially since you almost never hear from her and he rarely sees her.
 
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PeggyPirate

New member
My husband has a lesbian friend also. She also says stuff like, "In high school I used to like you,"
"If I was straight I would want to be with you."

I have met her and this is my opinion. She is only a lesbian because it drives her parents crazy. She likes the attention she gets, from guys. They also say things like hey, sexy...

My husband is blind as a bat and doesn't get it. If he would divorce me and tell her he was madly in love with her, she would go with him.

But sometimes you just have to let things go, don't nag. Sometimes there is nothing you can do in the first place but hope that you are the only one he wants
 
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AH

Member
So HE told you she's a lesbian? I've seen that old "don't worry she's a lesbian" trick before. Obviously, if she has children then she's been with a man. Honestly, I think your man lied anyway, so you wouldn't suspect anything.

"He won't bring her around because she might hit on you and make him mad?" Now, if you really believe this one, you are a fool! Just leave him, done!
 
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QuakerO

New member
you know what you should have texted her and asked her not to call him babe and signed it the wife. I would not like that if it were my husband. And she is obviously not a les because she has kids.....
 
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"TYRANT"

New member
Your husband is blind or he think you are a fool !
That woman is not a lesbian !

If she contact you guys every few mouths ,she may be trying to see if you are still together !
Don't trust her at all !

Babbie is a flirtatious word in my book !...He should put her in check about the whole situation !

There is no plausible explanation for the trouble this woman is causing in your marriage !
 
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