I climbed a mighty mountain, and looked down in disdain,
At those who stayed behind, whilst I claimed all the 'fame'.
It wasn't 'till much later, when I realised the truth,
I climbed up there for glory, to feel apart, aloof.
I climbed again when older, and this time didn't care,
The joy was in the journey, 'and no one ever heard.
Though my experience with quite a few grandparents, it became apparent to me that many parents used their children as some kind of 'token' or 'achievement' or attempted to live unfulfilled dreams through them. (That is not to say it is true for all, or even many).
But these grandparents told me (and its well documented that grandparents enjoyed grandparenthood more than parenthood. When asked why, most stated because they had no expectations, didn't have try push them for something or compare them to others, they simply enjoyed watching them being children, with no agenda, simply joy.
If any of you have seen the saddening documentaries on pageants, it becomes clear that some parents do use their children as some kind of 'badge of honor', or to live unfulfilled dreams.
My grandmother had 12 children. I've never once heard her talk of any kind of 'achievement' she had from bearing all these children (bearing in mind they where brought up in the post war recession, in Liverpool) each of them has done fine on thier own, and she has never once spoke about how parenthood has made her special. (even though during these times even feeding a small family was tough) She had no washing machine, no dryer, no iron, no sterilizer, no disposeable nappries, no refidgerator, no tv, almost nothing most modern parents take for granted) These things didnt exist at the time, in comparison a parent with one, two, even three children, have it incredibly easy.
I think if she can manage that, in those circumstances, parents these days with all the mod cons and support they get, can get on without telling people it was something special, rather than a simple biological fact of life, as a result of bumping uglies.