Parents? I just have a question? No rants, I promise.?

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MarynBittner

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It's hard to guess at someone else's reasoning, but I'll give it a shot.

I bet your mom knows perfectly well that you're an artist and a free spirit--now. But she also knows that at 14, your still have a lot of changes in front of you before you become the adult you'll be for the remainder of your life. She also knows that people's impressions of you are often based on the utterly superficial rather than who you are or what you can do. Piercings may close a great many doors to you, doors you may some day wish had remained open.

In the end, though, it boils down to the law siding with the adult, who is presumed to act in what she sees as your best interest. Until you're an adult *supporting himself* it's probably wisest to roll with it and play by the rules of the one with the wallet.
 
Alright, well, I'm almost 15 years old, and I finally worked up the courage to ask my mother about piercings, whether it was lip, eyebrow, nose, or even just a second hole in my ear. I was promptly denied with no explanation. I find it rather hypocritical, considering she has 5 piercings in each ear.
I was wondering why parents seem to have such an aversion towards piercings. I understand the argument of "look respectable", but I'm an artist, and I feel repressed by being denied the ability to express myself in ways that I find creative. And a suit and tie isn't exactly necessary.
But anyway, I was just hoping for an input from some other parents.
All answers are appreciated!
I've tried asking her about the piercings in her ears, if she regretted them and that's why she's denying me the ability to do the same, she replied with,
"Regret? Of course not! They're my favorite accessory!"

It's just that she's never had a problem with me expressing myself until now. Not when I started making a lot of my clothes, or altering ones I've bought, or when I bleached my hair and dyed it neon pink! She said that I could walk around naked for all she cares. She's refusing to talk to me about this so I'm just looking for some possible insights...
 
I think your mom understands more about what you want than you do. The fact that she has 10 piercings in her ears and denied you any more piercings shows that she regrets that decision now that she's older and a mother.

When you're older, you're going to make decisions for yourself, and hopefully, you'll think long and hard about what you really want. If you want to express yourself, why not use buttons, pins, the way you wear your hair?

Oh, and btw, I'm only 18, so don't think that I don't think the same exact things as you at times. It sucks when your parents won't let you do what you want, but it's in your best interest.
 
Personally I would let my kid get whatever piercings he wants. Piercings are really not a big deal since they can be taken out if you don't want them any more so no people, they DO NOT prevent you from getting jobs. That's ridiculous.
I can see her reasoning (you can see a lot of other people posted why they would not allow it), but as you can see a lot of parents are hypocrites because they think they are protecting their kids. In my opinion, it's annoying.
 
Personally I would let my kid get whatever piercings he wants. Piercings are really not a big deal since they can be taken out if you don't want them any more so no people, they DO NOT prevent you from getting jobs. That's ridiculous.
I can see her reasoning (you can see a lot of other people posted why they would not allow it), but as you can see a lot of parents are hypocrites because they think they are protecting their kids. In my opinion, it's annoying.
 
You are 14, you don't know who you are. Wait till you are 18 and do what you want. Its not that big of a deal.
 
I don't have a problem with them as long as they aren't on your lip or eyes UNTIL you are old enough and out of college and have a job.

I took my niece to get her tongue done when her mom (my sister) said no. Then my husband took her to get her a bull ring in her nose. She can hide if needed and you never see it.
I have my tongue & belly done and 7 in my ears. My 3 girls have their ears done too. I took them at 1, 3, & 5. If my daughter wants them done again, fine. But I will have to say NO to any one her face because she wont get hired when she gets out of college.

It depends on the parents mostly.
 
I don't have a problem with them as long as they aren't on your lip or eyes UNTIL you are old enough and out of college and have a job.

I took my niece to get her tongue done when her mom (my sister) said no. Then my husband took her to get her a bull ring in her nose. She can hide if needed and you never see it.
I have my tongue & belly done and 7 in my ears. My 3 girls have their ears done too. I took them at 1, 3, & 5. If my daughter wants them done again, fine. But I will have to say NO to any one her face because she wont get hired when she gets out of college.

It depends on the parents mostly.
 
You've waited this long - three more years isn't going to kill you. You can creatively express yourself however you like, when you're an adult & living on your own.

If you want to change her mind, though, now - you need to find out what it is that worries her about this and, with complete respect and understanding of those concerns, show her how she can trust you to handle those things that worry her -and- still get the piercings that you want.
 
I have an 8 year old son who also is into piercings, skateboarding, etc. I have allowed him to pierce his ear, he got it when he was 5. He has not asked for any others piercings, but if he wanted them, I would allow it. I believe in letting a kid express themselves, and I would rather be there with him to make sure it is done right, than for him to be like I was and let someone do it at school and wind up with a horrible infection like I did. I know I will get a lot of thumbs down for that, but my only rule about this type of thing is that he is not allowed to do anything permanent. He has asked for tats and of course I told him no. Piercings can be removed, the hole will close up, he does not have to wear jewelry in it just because there's a hole there. If it's not permanent, I really don't see the big deal.
 
Honestly if I did everything I wanted to do at 14 I would be regretting alot of things right now. Your mother is there to guide you, and she's there to help you with decisions that you might not be mature enough to make at the moment. And even though you think you might be mature your not, and wont be for a while. I wont let my son do that, and I wont let him get a tattoo until he's old enough to walk in the shop on his own and pay for it himself. I think by the age of 18 you have more respect for your body, and you truly understand that what your putting on it is forever.... that's why you can't do that stuff on your own until your 18.
My brother has a zillion tattoos and piercings, and just the other day he said "Man I wish I could take all of these tattoos off, I was so dumb" He also had them done at the age of 14 without my moms consent, if she would have known it never would have happened and he wouldn't be wishing this day that he didn't do it... he also has piercings, they all out now, but he still has holes and scars where they used to be, I know you can take them out but your still stuck with a scar. Just listen to your mom for now, if you still want it done when your 18 then go for it. I wanted my tongue, eyebrow, nose and everything done when I was your age because I thought it was cool, now I'm SO happy I didn't do it.
 
I presume your parent has learn ed from what she did and doesn't want you to have to as well.
 
I've actually told my kids they are free to get them if they want. They have no interest.....

Your parents have an aversion because many parents refuse to change with the times. They have NO idea why you would want to do that to your body. You might as well be piercing them. You are their child, you represent them. If you look goofy....THEY look goofy....

This is how most parents operate anyway...

All you can really do is respect their wishes and then do as you please as an adult.
 
i understand how u feel as I felt the same way when I was 14-15. Heres the outlook your parents are coming from. My parents for example are very laid back and didnt see a problem with me getting a tattoo when I was 15. Well, I am 22 now and I dont necesarily regret it but I wish I didnt do it because its probably one of my dumbest tattoos. I have a scar on my right eye from an eyebrow peircing I got when I was 14 and it looks like a cresent moon lol. I now have it and forever will. Just try understand that your parents know what they are talking about. Try to find other ways, I know its hard, to express your creativity. Im a mother two younger boys and I wouldnt let them even come close to doing what I did when I was your age.
 
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