Spiritually speaking: Wanna hear a joke?

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StonerJesus

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There is a mini-bar on top of a skyscraper. There is a bartender and two alcoholics on there. One of them stands on one foot, after drinking a few beers. He leans over, side to side, and all around. The other two stand in astonishment. They wonder how he does it. The other alcoholic walks up to him and says "How do you do that?" He replies, "It just takes practice." The other says "Try drinking a bit more and show me it again." So he drinks a few more beers, and does it again. The others are amazed. The other alcoholic tries it, and the wind pushes him off the building. The bartender says to him "You're a real dick when you're drunk."
 
I heard it like this;
A guy walks into bar on the 30th floor of a building. The only people in it are the bartender and another man, named Clark. So our friend, who we will call Steve, sits down and orders a drink. After a few minutes, Clark says to Steve, "I bet you if you jumped out of the window the wind would blow you back in." Steve says, "Yeah Right, lets see you do it first." Clark jumps out the window, and sure enough, the wind blows him right back in. Steve says, "do that again, and then I'll try it." Clark does it again. "OK," Steve says, and hops out the window, falling 30 stories to his death. Clark goes back over to the bar, and sits back down. The bartender says, "You know, sometimes you're a real jerk, Superman."
 
I've got a joke for you, laddie. What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? ....I can't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.
 
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