hazeleyes3395
New member
- Feb 27, 2010
- 6
- 0
- 1
On the edge of town there was what seemed to be the perfect place. A place where the California sun was always shining and the biggest , most coveted mansion sat in its own private field. The town's most respected chief of police, Eric Samuels,+ was the very wealthy man that owned it. His wealth wasn't originally his though. It was his wife's, before she died of "unknown causes". Never once did Eric cry about it though and I knew why. His solemn face and melancholy tone was only used when other people were around. Everything about the man was an act, and only his foster children saw his true self.
Having five foster children only made Eric that much more adored. Rarely would anyone adopt a child older than ten and never did anyone adopt a teen older than twelve. That's where Eric came in. He took in the unwanted ones, such an admiral thing to do. Three of these lucky teens were sixteen, one was seventeen, and the youngest was fourteen.
With all the good Eric had done nobody ever expected what went on in that house. Everyone was oblivious to the truth because the house was in such a uninhabited area. Far enough away so nobody could hear the screams of four tortured teens. There never was a fifth scream though. The youngest was blond, smart, and practically the vision of perfection. Not even a monster would lay a hand on her.
The monster that owned that mansion had no problem enforcing the law but following it wasn't his thing. That badge that he carried wasn't symbolic of his love for the town or the people in it, like everyone thought. It was the symbol of power and dominance. Some would say he was a dictator, others would say he was a psycho. As for me, I -unwillingly- called him "dad".
OK so how is it? Also, the rest of the story is going to be like a giant flashback. Basically the beginning is from the perspective of one of the foster children after she's out of the house. But the rest of the book s while she's in there still. This is like a prologue or preface or something I guess. But She was the most hated in the house because her attitude usually got her into trouble. She had a big mouth and often fights back when she gets pissed off. Her real sister is in the house as well along with her best friend who suffers from asthma. Many things happen in the story that are really tragic things that she witnesses and eventually she literally goes crazy. Leaving her in a psychiatric hospital. Believe it or not this story is actually part romance and her 'lover' tries helping her heal and well no longer be crazy. There also will be a sequel that I have planned but I won't talk about until I actually write this story.
Having five foster children only made Eric that much more adored. Rarely would anyone adopt a child older than ten and never did anyone adopt a teen older than twelve. That's where Eric came in. He took in the unwanted ones, such an admiral thing to do. Three of these lucky teens were sixteen, one was seventeen, and the youngest was fourteen.
With all the good Eric had done nobody ever expected what went on in that house. Everyone was oblivious to the truth because the house was in such a uninhabited area. Far enough away so nobody could hear the screams of four tortured teens. There never was a fifth scream though. The youngest was blond, smart, and practically the vision of perfection. Not even a monster would lay a hand on her.
The monster that owned that mansion had no problem enforcing the law but following it wasn't his thing. That badge that he carried wasn't symbolic of his love for the town or the people in it, like everyone thought. It was the symbol of power and dominance. Some would say he was a dictator, others would say he was a psycho. As for me, I -unwillingly- called him "dad".
OK so how is it? Also, the rest of the story is going to be like a giant flashback. Basically the beginning is from the perspective of one of the foster children after she's out of the house. But the rest of the book s while she's in there still. This is like a prologue or preface or something I guess. But She was the most hated in the house because her attitude usually got her into trouble. She had a big mouth and often fights back when she gets pissed off. Her real sister is in the house as well along with her best friend who suffers from asthma. Many things happen in the story that are really tragic things that she witnesses and eventually she literally goes crazy. Leaving her in a psychiatric hospital. Believe it or not this story is actually part romance and her 'lover' tries helping her heal and well no longer be crazy. There also will be a sequel that I have planned but I won't talk about until I actually write this story.
. Make sure to keep it as interesting as you can throughout the novel and always make it believable to a point where the reader can relate and really get into it.