Tell me the funniest joke You know?

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MayaS

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What is the funniest joke you'v ever heard?

Mine:
Jack went up a beanstalk then down a beanstalk then up a beanstalk, then down again. There on the bottom he met Jill.
Jill: DDo you want to tumble down and get a drink of water with me
Jack: No
Jill: Why
Jack: I just don't

Get it?????? Good that'show I want it.
 
To a cute clerk in a store: Do you have matterbaby?
Clerk: Whats a matter baby?
 
So this farmer family, a son, a mom, and a dad, go to the big city. New York. While they are there, they check into a hotel. The mom is too scared to use the elevator - she doesn't even know what an elevator is! None of them do. So she just runs up some stairs to find her room. However, the father and son - such rebels-are intrigued. They sit on the couches in the lobby and watch this short, old, fat, ugly lady (with a unibrow, 3 ugly rotting teeth (the rest are gone), a unibrow, a mole,) walk into the elevator. Two minutes later, out walks a beautiful, tall, 110 pounds blonde supermodel in a short dress. The father leans over to the son and says 'son, go get your mother!'

AND

The first rule about Chuck Norris

... you never talk about Chuck Norris.

When the boogieman goes to bed, he checks his closet for chuck norris.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.

Chuck Norris owns a nightlight, not because he's afraid of the dark, but because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris could run around the earth so fast, he could punch himself in the back.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only one that cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice.

Chuck Norris has a facebook page... on myspace.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's not pushing himself up. He's pushing the Earth down.
 
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
 
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