So I overanalyze the first sentence sooooo much because I feel it's a time when you're either going to hook or turn off a potential reader. But its come to the point where I analyze it way too much. Family and friends tell me I'm far too critical but I believe they have to say those things. So now I'm finally asking someone who has no reason to say nice things for the sake of saying them or to lie, lol. Please give me your honest opinion of this sentence. Thank you!
"I held my breath as I waited for the moment to come when I could no longer pretend that this didn’t have to end."
"I held my breath as I waited for the moment to come when I could no longer pretend that this didn’t have to end."