Sandninjer,
I think there's a huge divide between what you're saying and what you're thinking. Because you're saying you see plenty of positives about the US, but you're choosing not to mention them in this thread. What this means, for people who don't know you, is that you come off as bashing even though you say that's not your intent. So what follows is not "to Sandninjer, the human being," because I don't know you or what you believe. Instead, this is directed at "to Sandninjer, the original poster of this thread," because without knowing you, that's all I can do.
First off, I don't know what "need to label you as a Muslim" even means. I don't know or care what your religion is (though given that your username appears to be a play on "sand-ni**er," the most offensive slur for Arabs I've ever heard, I hope you are of Middle Eastern descent, because if you're a white dude, that's just messed up). I don't think your viewpoint is typical of any particular religion, but I do think your viewpoint is an extreme of "the grass is always greener on the other side" mentality.
You say that women are treated better in the Muslim world than in America. How can anyone seriously assert that? When public rape is used as a tool of political oppression in Tahrir Square, both under Mubarak and under the Islamic Brotherhood. It happened to two female western journalists and countless Egyptian women. When girls who dare to go to school in Afghanistan have acid thrown in their faces or are shot in the head. When "honor killings" of girls who hold a boy's hand, or are the victims of rape, are disturbingly common-place. Where women frequently are denied the vote and almost always denied political office or the ability to own and operate businesses. Where women in Egypt ride in gender-segregated public transportation to protect themselves from rampant harassment. I agree with you entirely that the Britney Spears/Paris Hilton culture in the US is really messed up and can wreak havoc on girls' self-esteem...but we give girls and women the choice to be involved in that, or instead to follow the lead of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman, etc. We encourage women to be astronauts, soldiers, business leaders, architects, whatever they want to be. Girls are dramatically safer here in the US, and women have dramatically more opportunities here in the US. There is no possible way to argue otherwise unless you're ignoring all but the worst of the USA and ignoring all but the best of the Muslim world.
And don't even get me started on quality of life if you happen to be a religious minority or gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender. We have religious minorities elected into our Congress. How many Middle Eastern countries can claim the same? (I know of only one, and it's Israel). There used to be hundreds of thousands of Jews in Iraq, Iran, and Egypt. They're basically all gone--fled or killed. I don't see Muslim-Americans doing the same, because there's no need to. And gays? Homosexuality is a crime punishable by either imprisonment or death in most of the Middle East and Africa (once again, Israel being a notable exception). That "oh, everyone is so nice and friendly and welcoming" stereotype is only extended to certain demographic groups.
And you say that there must be something wrong with America because we can't make peace with Muslim extremists. Let me ask you this: why don't you assume something is wrong with Muslim extremists? Because if their attacks on the USA are our fault, than I guess the UK is also to blame (London train bombings), Indonesia and Australia are to blame (Bali bombings), Spaniards are to blame (Madrid bombings), Argentinians are to blame (bombing of the Jewish community center in Buenas Aires), and most of all, OTHER MUSLIMS are to blame. Because a day can't go by without Muslim extremists detonating a car bomb in Iraq, Pakistan, Lebanon, or elsewhere killing 20-50 innocent civilians. The fact is, Muslim extremists can't get along with ANYBODY besides other Muslim extremists...not even other Muslims. So I refuse to believe that Muslim extremists' refusal to coexist with the USA is proof that the USA is to blame.
Third, you comment about how messed up US culture was, suggesting it's awful to be a Muslim here...but if that was the case, you wouldn't see so many Muslims flocking to the US to become US citizens, and you'd see more striving to get out. It's the old "vote with your wallet" test. Everyone on the internet loves to bash Toyota and wax nostalgic about Saab, but at the end of the day, tons of people bought Toyotas without blinking an eye and essentially nobody bought Saabs. What does that tell you? Likewise, for all the griping, Muslims are flocking to America. The Muslim population in America is about 5 million now, roughly equivalent to the American Jewish population. And why? Because, as many issues as there are still in the USA, the worst day in Michigan is better than the best day in Syria. Far better. Hey, I get that. When my family fled Russia in 1892, there was plenty of anti-Semitism in the USA. But you know what? The worst day in New York was better than the best day in Russia. Same is true for Muslims today. The fact is, even as a "distrusted minority" in the USA, people have more political power, better treatment from law enforcement, better personal safety, and more business opportunities than they have as "the majority" in pretty much the entire Middle East. America has plenty of areas yet to improve, but life is pretty good here--people come here for a reason.
America isn't perfect. But America IS awesome. Profoundly awesome. We have a lot to be justifiably proud of. And, once people get away from excessively romanticizing life in Africa, the Middle East, and Central Asia, we offer one hell of an improvement in quality-of-life by any measurable standard.