The blatant lies thread

I am utterly over the moon I am back at work today without my duvet to keep me all warm and safe.
 
The sun is splitting the skies here in Motherwell and I am working in shirt sleeves.
 
Now that is a blatant lie as Scotland never knows what Sun is. When they do see it they freak out thinking the electric bill is going up.
 
Im a ninja stealth assassin assigned to scope MAP for any other ninjas attempting to pass on top secret information leaked out accidently by our leader Ashida Kim in a recent interview, while posing as a Kung fu grandmaster wannabe.
 
I haven't seen the sun in days, nor was I out and about in a T-Shirt at 8 am this morning. I was so cold I thought I'd freeze to death. Springtime in the desert isn't pretty at all.
 
asida kim is the greatest martial artist ever in the whole world and everything he says is pure knowledge and power
 
Manishibisomarshmellowman, an old member of MAP!, has been awarded medal for good, honest services to the matrtial arts community!
 
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