Fish, I don't really know what your going through, and I probably can't understand it either. However, if you may permit me, I hope you overcome any obstacles you are facing and I sincerely hope you feel and get better.
Dicktrucks who sit on public transport and dismiss everything they see in a very 'I"m middle class and white but I'm pretending to be the reverse' kind of way.
observation: i am in all likelihood WAY too cynical and paranoid. not a grr, per se, but it's an interesting datum to always have in mind because it can cause (and has caused in the past, with near-disastrous results) undesireable behaviour patterns, which should preferably be pre-empted and analized for validity before actual decisions are made.
every time I watch something on youtube I get demoralised but kudos to the girl who managed this. I struggled to do TGU reps with a 12kg earlier after some KB interval training and grazed my right elbow on the concrete tiles outside
28 kg Turkish Get Up at 123 lbs bodyweight - YouTube
she outdid Lauren Brooks who I watched yesterday when taking notes for a KB workout. I think there's a lot of technique in the move but even so that's an awesome weight. I'm not going up in weight until(or rather if) I can do 10 reps. I'm embarrassed to say I went down to an 8kg KB at the gym to do them for reps though only tried them on a couple of occasions before tonight. 12kg is my standard for most exercises so why it's the first weight I bought, it's the only (weights)thing I own