truebluebw
New member
- Dec 9, 2009
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This is a poem I wrote about the victims of 9/11. I'm thinking of publishing it and would like feedback regarding it's strong/weak points.....
"The Burning Ledge Beyond My Grasp"
This inescapable air,
pulls at my flailing hair,
riding speeds so great -
The racing of my mind,
dizzies the tick of time,
and the air cannot relate -
Fifteen seconds 'till impact,
thus my mind will choose
turning blind what's unimportant,
to focus on meaningful muse.
For Life is hurrying by,
but Death is rushing quicker,
I say goodbye to my kids,
for blood is always thicker.
Water softens a splash,
but pavement knows no wave,
I wish for cushions of feathers,
but broken wings have burned the brave.
My brittle bones so heavy,
like a heaving sack of stones
the kiss of Death so quick,
to save me many moans.
I'm reaching for the stars,
as they fall the other way,
empty is my grasp
on this sad September day
"The Burning Ledge Beyond My Grasp"
This inescapable air,
pulls at my flailing hair,
riding speeds so great -
The racing of my mind,
dizzies the tick of time,
and the air cannot relate -
Fifteen seconds 'till impact,
thus my mind will choose
turning blind what's unimportant,
to focus on meaningful muse.
For Life is hurrying by,
but Death is rushing quicker,
I say goodbye to my kids,
for blood is always thicker.
Water softens a splash,
but pavement knows no wave,
I wish for cushions of feathers,
but broken wings have burned the brave.
My brittle bones so heavy,
like a heaving sack of stones
the kiss of Death so quick,
to save me many moans.
I'm reaching for the stars,
as they fall the other way,
empty is my grasp
on this sad September day