lgerstmann1
New member
- Jun 15, 2008
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Here is the first part. It's in rough draft form. I wrote it this morning:
For those who remembered the television series, “Spartan Hall” – known during its first season as “It Happened at Spartan Hall” before its name was shortened – about the goings-on of students at Lakeview High School, at the science lobby named Spartan Hall, the popularity of the show was largely because of the honor roll student Victoria Freidin, played by Jamie Weathers. Since DVD collections of the show have made each season available to those who were fans of it, whether they watched it during original broadcasts or not, one admirer of the show had bought the complete series. John Baker thought the show was entertaining plot-wise and the cast acted well in it but he was excited to see the scenes with Jamie Weathers. He could pick any season and episode at random and Jamie would be wearing her shirt tucked in. A couple of other women characters wore a tucked-in shirt on an occasion or two but not as consistently as Jamie.
While another fan might think about watching “the episode when Professor Kulik’s hair turns blue from his using home-made shampoo”, John thought about “the episode when Jamie wears a plain yellow T-shirt tucked tightly into belted black jeans.” The episode “when Principal Terlecki gets laryngitis” was, to John, “when Jamie wears a tucked-in gray UCLA sweatshirt with her sleeves pushed up.”
John liked watching Spartan Hall because Jamie Weather represented the type of woman he would want as a girlfriend because of her outfits. Of course, he knew that what she wore was put together by the show’s fashion consultant, Mona Johanssen, but girls did dress similarly to her style when he went to high school and, now that those years were long gone, he could return to that time by merely using his remote control. However, if anyone told him Jamie did not dress like that in real life, he could mention how he watched candid interviews with her and, yes, she did wear her shirts that way.
Well, that was over fifteen years ago and he had no proof she continued that style now… until he noticed a small news article, in the Lakeview Journal, stating “Jamie Weather, former star of the hit television comedy ‘Spartan Hall’ will be performing with her band, ‘Warren Pez’, at The Roustabout, Friday night at 8:00 p.m. Admission free. Three drink minimum.” The Roustabout, a neighborhood bar, was only ten blocks away from his apartment. He felt like a surreal story was coming true for him. There was no way he would not go to the show.
This is about a guy who meets his favorite television actress from years ago and now she is in a rock band and a complete drunken mess. At first, he was obsessed with her but now she won’t leave him alone and he can’t get rid of her. My main concern is whether or not I should put more in the beginning about her outfits and why he liked her or if I put in enough. Also, do you think this would work as a novel or should stay a short story and what should I add or leave out, in your opinion? Thanks.
For those who remembered the television series, “Spartan Hall” – known during its first season as “It Happened at Spartan Hall” before its name was shortened – about the goings-on of students at Lakeview High School, at the science lobby named Spartan Hall, the popularity of the show was largely because of the honor roll student Victoria Freidin, played by Jamie Weathers. Since DVD collections of the show have made each season available to those who were fans of it, whether they watched it during original broadcasts or not, one admirer of the show had bought the complete series. John Baker thought the show was entertaining plot-wise and the cast acted well in it but he was excited to see the scenes with Jamie Weathers. He could pick any season and episode at random and Jamie would be wearing her shirt tucked in. A couple of other women characters wore a tucked-in shirt on an occasion or two but not as consistently as Jamie.
While another fan might think about watching “the episode when Professor Kulik’s hair turns blue from his using home-made shampoo”, John thought about “the episode when Jamie wears a plain yellow T-shirt tucked tightly into belted black jeans.” The episode “when Principal Terlecki gets laryngitis” was, to John, “when Jamie wears a tucked-in gray UCLA sweatshirt with her sleeves pushed up.”
John liked watching Spartan Hall because Jamie Weather represented the type of woman he would want as a girlfriend because of her outfits. Of course, he knew that what she wore was put together by the show’s fashion consultant, Mona Johanssen, but girls did dress similarly to her style when he went to high school and, now that those years were long gone, he could return to that time by merely using his remote control. However, if anyone told him Jamie did not dress like that in real life, he could mention how he watched candid interviews with her and, yes, she did wear her shirts that way.
Well, that was over fifteen years ago and he had no proof she continued that style now… until he noticed a small news article, in the Lakeview Journal, stating “Jamie Weather, former star of the hit television comedy ‘Spartan Hall’ will be performing with her band, ‘Warren Pez’, at The Roustabout, Friday night at 8:00 p.m. Admission free. Three drink minimum.” The Roustabout, a neighborhood bar, was only ten blocks away from his apartment. He felt like a surreal story was coming true for him. There was no way he would not go to the show.
This is about a guy who meets his favorite television actress from years ago and now she is in a rock band and a complete drunken mess. At first, he was obsessed with her but now she won’t leave him alone and he can’t get rid of her. My main concern is whether or not I should put more in the beginning about her outfits and why he liked her or if I put in enough. Also, do you think this would work as a novel or should stay a short story and what should I add or leave out, in your opinion? Thanks.