Why do you feel you're a slave and a robot? You have complete freedom to disbelieve anything you like, anywhere, anytime. Nobody can force you to believe. If you are a slave, it is by your own choice. And nobody is a robot unless they are addicted to some sort of narcotics.
Perhaps you could talk with a professional, because it sounds as if you might be depressed about your life choices.
Good luck and God bless.
D1