Who has good blond jokes?

D

dan

Active member
Joined
May 11, 2008
Messages
1,260
Reaction score
0
Points
36
Mine are;
A blond went to the curtain store and asked for some curtains. The Guy behind the counter said, " What for?" The blond said, "My Computer", and he says, "Mam you don't have to have curtains for a computer" then she says, " I have windows duh", LOL
&
two blond friends were walking up the street then all of a sudden one blond picked up a mirror, the blond the said, " This person looks familiar" then the other blond looks and said, " It's me silly"
&
There was a blond lady on the road named Pam, Pam was pulled over by the blond cop Josh, Josh said, " Do you have a form of ID, Or a license?" Then Pam looks in her purse and says, "Nope", Then Josh says, " Do you have a picture of yourself?", Then Pam looks and pulls out a makeup mirror and says, "Right here", Then Josh looks and said, " If I knew you were a cop I wouldn't have pulled you over, go on, go on"
Post yours
Nice people, I found out I didn't post the you're next one, thanks for the reminder, here's another;
A blond went to the store and says, " sir ho much is that tv?" then the guy says, "Sorry I don't sell to blonds" the next day she comes as a brunet and says, " sir how much is that tv?" then the guy says," sorry i don't sell to blonds that impersonate brunets", then the next day she comes as a red head and says," how much is that tv?" then the guy says "sorry I don't sell to blonds who impersonate brunets who impersonate redheads", then she finally points and says" why won't you sell me that tv??" Then he says, " Mam, that's a microwave"
 
Here it goes: A blond chick is nuts because she caught his boy-friend cheating on her.
So, she tries to "kill her self" with a knife, and obviously the guy tries to stop her by calming her down.
She goes"shut up! you're next.
it's all I got, hope it helps
 
A blonde and a brunette were talking and the conversation came up about dandruff...the blond says " my boyfriend has a bad case of dandruff " and the brunette says " give him head and shoulders " ....well two days later the blonde tells the brunette." I gave him head but how in the heck do I give him shoulders '' hahahahhsahjsjsjahahhahahahahahshhshahashah im laughing at my own joke hahahahahahahahahajhajaajajajajahg
 
what does a blonde and a door nob have in common? everyone gets a turn =P

what did santa call the 3 blondes? HOE HOE HOE hope this helps
 
2 blondes were walking through a field and they came across a set of tracks. 1 of them said "oh look those are deer tracks", the other replied "no those are rabbit tracks" so the other blonde replied "deer tracks!" and the other replied "no, rabbit tracks!' and they comtinued to argue back and forth and while in the midst of the argument, the train came along and hit them both.
 
A blonde went to buy glasses. She entered the shop and told the man, "hello I would like a pair of glasses" so he asked her "for the sun?" and she said confused " no! for me! "
...
A blonde was walking on the sidewalk, she saw a banana peel on the floor and said "oh no! I'm going to fall again"
...
A blonde and a brunet were walking together. The brunet then says: "I am bored of being alone... What kind of husband do you think I should find?" and the blonde answers: " You should leave the husbands alone and find a single man"
...
A blonde went into a shop and asked the lady "do you have shampoo" so the lady replied: "we have shampoo for dry hair, for thick hair.." the blonde then said: "do you have any for dirty hair?"
...
A blonde went to a restaurant. The waiter came and said: "hello, if you have any problem my name is Joe" The blonde then said "an what's your name if we don't have a problem?"
...
There was a school for blondes, all the students were blondes, except one, Anne, she is a brunet. SO the teacher points at a world map and asks "can any of you name this continent?" and Anne was the only one with her arm raised so the teacher said " as usual, Anne what is the answer?" so Anne simply said "it's America". Then the teacher asked, "Does any of you know who discovered America?" and all the blondes raised their hand and said " it's Anne sir!"
...
Blonde school, all of them were blondes, and the teacher was asking questions as a test to students. He was questioning one of the students and was like "what is 4x3" and she said "10" so he said it is the wrong answer, so all the other blondes shouted "another chance! give her another chance!!!" So he said, "ok, easier question, what's 20 + 10?" so she said "emmm... 63" so all the blondes were like "another chance! give her another chance!" so he was like "ok easier, 2+2" so the blonde said "ermmmm 4?" and all the other blondes were like "another chance! give her another chance!"
 
:)There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. :emot0:
 
:3_8_14[1]:A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!” :3_8_14[1]:
 
:3_8_14[1]:A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!” :3_8_14[1]:
 
There was a blonde who was driving home from work one day, when she was passing a bridge she seen a blonde in a row boat just paddling her way through a field of wheat. So the blonde pulls her car over and starts screaming at her yelling 'you are an embarassment to ALL blondes! Your the reason us blondes have such a bad name! If I knew how to swim I'd get myself down there and kick your a**!'
&_+
Theres a smart blonde, a dumb blonde and Santa all playing poker together. Which one wins? The dumb blonde because obviously the other two dont exist.
&_+
A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, "I'll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50 she owned. The redhead said, "I can't take this, you're my friend." The blonde said, "No. A bet's a bet." So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o'clock news, so I can't take your money." The blonde replied, "Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"
 
Back
Top