Why are the best looking most successful people always alcoholics?

[RichardCranium]

Or is everyone actually a secret alcoholic but nobody cares about them?

 

[DrDeanCrosby]

A rather huge generalization here! However "successful" people usually have a great deal of stress which liquor helps to sedate and they usually have become "successful" by conforming to the social customs of a liquor saturated society which usually requires the attendance at a multitude of cocktail parties on the climb to "success".:lick ice: