Why do i get so upset when husband and i argue about something minor?

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GlescaPie

New member
To cut a long story short, i was in a horrible relationship a few years ago with a complete control freak. I left him four years ago and then lived on my own and basically got my confidence (or so i thought) back and really felt great for the first time in years. I then met a wonderful guy who i am now married to. Problem is though, i simply cannot bear when we argue about something (doesn't really happen often thankfully) or even if he's had a bad day and isn't in the best of moods. I end up getting so upset that i can't sleep, don't eat, feel like crying all the time and even phone in sick to work as i can't stand the feeling of things not being "right". What's wrong with me? I turn into a quivering wreck when him and i have a row. He knows about my past and has been patient, but he did say that it's affecting our relationship sometimes. What can i do? I'm sitting here in tears right now and husband is annoyed with me. :( Thanks x
 
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ogkmqueen

New member
I think you need to see a counselor, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. There might be something going on that you have no idea about, that could be causing you to feel so upset when this happens. I would suggest going as soon as possible because your behavior could drive your loved one away.
 
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zee

Member
Wake up and stop taking a good life and relationship for granted. So you want to sit their and think and over tantalise the situation when you know their is no need to. Go out and do some charity work like helping homeless people and then you will be grate full for all that you have.
 
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StaceylMarieJ

New member
You think he will leave you.
I am so secure of my husband and mines love for each other that arguments are nothing.
You will find you will go nearly every day with an argument for a period of time then a period of time where all is calm, it's a cycle where your relationship/marriage evolves and strengthens - have faith in your love.
 
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BarbOuthere

New member
You need professional help to deal with the past, so you can have a clear future. Sounds a lot like its not really over in your mind. Do that for the sake of the marriage, but most of all for yourself.
 
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WisenSmart

New member
You are terrified that you again, made the wrong choice and do not want to go through the pain of a brake up like before.

Just make sure you are not living in denial and living, instead in a dream world where everyone lives happily ever after.

You seem like you will come up with any excuse to justify his "moods". If you would ask me, he needs a needy person and you need a person who needs you. Love has nothing to do with it.

I talk from experience, been there, done that. I went from a Nightmare on Elm Street to Alice in Wonderland in a short period of time and was overwhelmed by my expectation of a perfect marriage. In my case, this man took advantage of my expectations and knew I would do anything to keep the princess castle from crumbling down until one day my fairy tale ended and I thought I was going to die but I was grieving more out of self pity than anything else. How could my dream end up this way? I gave my all to this relationship? I thought we were going to grow old together? After the mourning was over I realized the manipulative man I married who never really cared for me. A man that would not be moved by my tears, a man who instead of embracing me and assuring me of his love, would act on the defensive threatening me to leave. If that is not a sign of abusive behavior, I don't know what it is.

I am now married to my true prince. I never expected a perfect relationship, I just let myself be loved. A man who I cannot sneeze in front of him, because the watery eyes it causes will send him out to bring me flowers. A man who has never in his wildest dreams would ever suggest nor allow anything to affect our relationship. A man who can be stressed, busted and disgusted, yet always has an "I love you" phrase in his mouth for me.

You need to have a talk with yourself and listen when you answer.
 
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