why do I laugh & smile when I feel like I am dying inside..?

[babyv:t]

Why do I laugh & smile when I feel like I am dying inside..?
i know this may seem like i am whining, but i absolutely hate school, so much, i dont even know why i get up in the morning

im a freshman, just moved across the country about 3 months ago (right before school started) and i am so lost all the girls here talks sh!t about each other nonstop, and all the younger guys here (my age) look like 6th graders

everyone looks so much younger here!! i am the odd one out (im pretty tall, and i look older) they all make fun of me all the time!

i feel like a freak there. i almost cried today because of how rude and immature they are
i am sad all the time. i know im not depressed, i get up everyday, i try so hard and make good grades, (all As and 1 B) and learning DOES NOT come naturally to me at all

but why do i act like everything is okay? why do i laugh when im dying inside? i laugh ALL the time, at things that arent even funny. i am not nervous, just upset...

and i really, really miss home so so much. i had the best friends in the world, they were/are everything to me!! and i was completely in love with this guy and things were happening i left it all for this place and i dont click with anyone

 

[AshleyShay]

Here's what you gotta do......

Just think to yoursef, "In a few years, I'll be out!"

It sounds like you're one of the RARE mature ones at that school! Just learn! You come to school to learn, and if you have friends there, then hey, good for you!

But if you don't, that's okay too. It's sucks a bit, but Yeah! You can do it!

This will sound a little cliche, but maybe do some yoga! Bring some peace in mind! And just know that everything will be all right! And that life's gonna be the BOMB once you get out! LOL!