Why does my husband prefer going on family vacations more then romantic getaways

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MarvaR

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with me? I have been married to my husband for almost two years. He just left me behind to go on a family vacation with his children from a previous marriage. They are ages 11 and 8. He also will be vacationing with his sister and parents. I could not get off work for this particular week, but they left me behind anyway. On the phone today, my husband stated that most men prefer family vacations over romantic getaways, because they prefer making family memories over intimacy with their wife. Again, this man crushes me over and over. But again I could be wrong maybe most men actually do prefer going on family vacations more then romantic getaways. He also said which I found odd that you can't have sex on family vacations. Hmmm, what kind of person have I married. I am considering filing for divorce, and I need some advice. I ask that you consider the fact that I'm devastated by all that's happening to me lately, and please be gentle with your advice. Thank you so much...
 
uh oh. this isn't good. he's got his own thing going on the side that doesn't include you. i wouldn't like that at all.
 
Your marriage ( ?? ) sounds like it needs help.. At face value based only on your position I would say your husband has his priorities mixed up and needs to review his marriage vows.. You knew he had children from a prior marriage .. Didn't the two of you discuss this ? Sounds like you didn't do your homework..You are asking Y/A what type of person you married ? Sounds like you need to grow up also and with your present thinking are on your way to a divorce.. If you truly love each other a marriage counselor may help .. If things don't work out , next time be a little smarter when you " fall in love " !!
 
Actually I started typing that its normal behaviour for a re-married father to try to strengthen relationships with his children but then I read the rest of your question... ok this is really odd and something smells fishy.... he prefers family vacations for memories over intimacy with wife... two different things... he should do both.... not having sex when on family vacations...?? what the heck... do you all sleep in one big room, then ok I understand but if you have a room on your own... that is a lime excuse.... start digging for the real reasons!!!! sorry to say that...
 
uh oh. this isn't good. he's got his own thing going on the side that doesn't include you. i wouldn't like that at all.
 
He sounds a bit repressed, uptight or a Momma's boy. Analyze the family dynamics.

Invest in counseling before making an important decision (such as divorce).
 
The real question here is ,Was he this way when you met? Or is it that he has changed?
If he wants to go on family vacation fine , But he needs to realize that if He wants to crush you ,,He needs to spend quality time with you.. You must do what you did to get her to keep her
you might think date nights are a good thing , as well as a vacation with girls , to make memories of how much you need time out too
Good Luck, You deserve what you need , and have a right to taking care of You too
 
He's probably doing his ex on these vacations, and I wouldn't doubt living with you makes him see how good it was when his family was all together. Sorry to be so blunt, that was just my first thought.
 
Okay-no not all men prefer family vacations over romantic ones. My husband and I go on one vacation every year since we've met-just the 2 of us. We can only afford one vacation a year and his family always takes a big family vacay int he summer. While he wishes we had the time and money to go with his family and share in the memories...the fact is we don't so he choses romantic with me over family with his family...every year.
When you go on a vacation just the two of you, it is close quarters 24/7, no one else is around to hang with or conversate with. So my guess is maybe your husband feels like you don't connect on that level or that it's not fun going on a vacation with just one other person.

My husband and I have many many married friends and we are the only ones out of group that goes on vacation just the two of
us.
Everyone else we know prefers friends to go with them or to go with family.
 
Ok..trying to be gentle but truthful at the same time.. Is he suppose to put off his life with his children because you cant take time off from work? Im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children so he has time frames in which he can have vacations with his children and more then likely because he doesnt have custody his family doesnt get to spend much time with his kids especially "if" his family lives out of state or out of the area.. its not like he didnt invite u.. or didnt want u to come.. u either chose not to go or like u said couldnt get the time off from work.. Im not saying that he shouldnt take you on romantic get a ways.. because he should make time for u.. but im also guessing since there was no mention of other children involved, and im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children, and most visitation schedules are usually every other weekend if his kids live in the area, that u and him have plenty of "alone" time when his kids arent there.. so i doubt that u "never" get alone time with him.. You knew this man had children from a previous relationship.. when u married him, what did u think he was going to just put them on the back burner when u came into the picture? And if going on a romantic getaway is so important to u that ur to a point of divorcing him over it (which i must say is stupid) then whats stopping u from setting the getaway up and making it happen even if its just for a weekend when ur both off from work? And yes i do believe Most men who have kids and are close to their families, would prefer to have family vacations because in a blink of an eye ur kids are grown and out of the house.. 18 years seems like a long time but one minute their 5 years old the next their 18 and living their own lives so its important to take advantage of having as many memories with your children as possible.. If your in your marriage for the long haul there will be plenty of time after the kids are grown to have romantic vacations when they are grown... You seem very immature and unable to handle the situation that ur in, u seem to believe that marriage is one big romantic novel or that it should all be about you.. and its not.. if ur ready to hit the road because you found a lame excuse to leave.. then its time for u to go 2 years into the marriage and ur already whining .. Heck ive been with my husband for almost 7 years and the only romantic get away we've been on was our honeymoon lol.. we both have children and when we have the extra money and the time we do things for our kids.. so ur husband is the normal parent... but again if its that important to u .. then pick up a phone and make reservations to have ur romantic getaway.. why does he have to be the one to initiate everything..??? wheres ur responsibility in this relationship??? ur a grown woman if u want it to happen make it happen..
 
Ok..trying to be gentle but truthful at the same time.. Is he suppose to put off his life with his children because you cant take time off from work? Im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children so he has time frames in which he can have vacations with his children and more then likely because he doesnt have custody his family doesnt get to spend much time with his kids especially "if" his family lives out of state or out of the area.. its not like he didnt invite u.. or didnt want u to come.. u either chose not to go or like u said couldnt get the time off from work.. Im not saying that he shouldnt take you on romantic get a ways.. because he should make time for u.. but im also guessing since there was no mention of other children involved, and im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children, and most visitation schedules are usually every other weekend if his kids live in the area, that u and him have plenty of "alone" time when his kids arent there.. so i doubt that u "never" get alone time with him.. You knew this man had children from a previous relationship.. when u married him, what did u think he was going to just put them on the back burner when u came into the picture? And if going on a romantic getaway is so important to u that ur to a point of divorcing him over it (which i must say is stupid) then whats stopping u from setting the getaway up and making it happen even if its just for a weekend when ur both off from work? And yes i do believe Most men who have kids and are close to their families, would prefer to have family vacations because in a blink of an eye ur kids are grown and out of the house.. 18 years seems like a long time but one minute their 5 years old the next their 18 and living their own lives so its important to take advantage of having as many memories with your children as possible.. If your in your marriage for the long haul there will be plenty of time after the kids are grown to have romantic vacations when they are grown... You seem very immature and unable to handle the situation that ur in, u seem to believe that marriage is one big romantic novel or that it should all be about you.. and its not.. if ur ready to hit the road because you found a lame excuse to leave.. then its time for u to go 2 years into the marriage and ur already whining .. Heck ive been with my husband for almost 7 years and the only romantic get away we've been on was our honeymoon lol.. we both have children and when we have the extra money and the time we do things for our kids.. so ur husband is the normal parent... but again if its that important to u .. then pick up a phone and make reservations to have ur romantic getaway.. why does he have to be the one to initiate everything..??? wheres ur responsibility in this relationship??? ur a grown woman if u want it to happen make it happen..
 
Ok..trying to be gentle but truthful at the same time.. Is he suppose to put off his life with his children because you cant take time off from work? Im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children so he has time frames in which he can have vacations with his children and more then likely because he doesnt have custody his family doesnt get to spend much time with his kids especially "if" his family lives out of state or out of the area.. its not like he didnt invite u.. or didnt want u to come.. u either chose not to go or like u said couldnt get the time off from work.. Im not saying that he shouldnt take you on romantic get a ways.. because he should make time for u.. but im also guessing since there was no mention of other children involved, and im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children, and most visitation schedules are usually every other weekend if his kids live in the area, that u and him have plenty of "alone" time when his kids arent there.. so i doubt that u "never" get alone time with him.. You knew this man had children from a previous relationship.. when u married him, what did u think he was going to just put them on the back burner when u came into the picture? And if going on a romantic getaway is so important to u that ur to a point of divorcing him over it (which i must say is stupid) then whats stopping u from setting the getaway up and making it happen even if its just for a weekend when ur both off from work? And yes i do believe Most men who have kids and are close to their families, would prefer to have family vacations because in a blink of an eye ur kids are grown and out of the house.. 18 years seems like a long time but one minute their 5 years old the next their 18 and living their own lives so its important to take advantage of having as many memories with your children as possible.. If your in your marriage for the long haul there will be plenty of time after the kids are grown to have romantic vacations when they are grown... You seem very immature and unable to handle the situation that ur in, u seem to believe that marriage is one big romantic novel or that it should all be about you.. and its not.. if ur ready to hit the road because you found a lame excuse to leave.. then its time for u to go 2 years into the marriage and ur already whining .. Heck ive been with my husband for almost 7 years and the only romantic get away we've been on was our honeymoon lol.. we both have children and when we have the extra money and the time we do things for our kids.. so ur husband is the normal parent... but again if its that important to u .. then pick up a phone and make reservations to have ur romantic getaway.. why does he have to be the one to initiate everything..??? wheres ur responsibility in this relationship??? ur a grown woman if u want it to happen make it happen..
 
Ok..trying to be gentle but truthful at the same time.. Is he suppose to put off his life with his children because you cant take time off from work? Im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children so he has time frames in which he can have vacations with his children and more then likely because he doesnt have custody his family doesnt get to spend much time with his kids especially "if" his family lives out of state or out of the area.. its not like he didnt invite u.. or didnt want u to come.. u either chose not to go or like u said couldnt get the time off from work.. Im not saying that he shouldnt take you on romantic get a ways.. because he should make time for u.. but im also guessing since there was no mention of other children involved, and im guessing that he doesnt have custody of his children, and most visitation schedules are usually every other weekend if his kids live in the area, that u and him have plenty of "alone" time when his kids arent there.. so i doubt that u "never" get alone time with him.. You knew this man had children from a previous relationship.. when u married him, what did u think he was going to just put them on the back burner when u came into the picture? And if going on a romantic getaway is so important to u that ur to a point of divorcing him over it (which i must say is stupid) then whats stopping u from setting the getaway up and making it happen even if its just for a weekend when ur both off from work? And yes i do believe Most men who have kids and are close to their families, would prefer to have family vacations because in a blink of an eye ur kids are grown and out of the house.. 18 years seems like a long time but one minute their 5 years old the next their 18 and living their own lives so its important to take advantage of having as many memories with your children as possible.. If your in your marriage for the long haul there will be plenty of time after the kids are grown to have romantic vacations when they are grown... You seem very immature and unable to handle the situation that ur in, u seem to believe that marriage is one big romantic novel or that it should all be about you.. and its not.. if ur ready to hit the road because you found a lame excuse to leave.. then its time for u to go 2 years into the marriage and ur already whining .. Heck ive been with my husband for almost 7 years and the only romantic get away we've been on was our honeymoon lol.. we both have children and when we have the extra money and the time we do things for our kids.. so ur husband is the normal parent... but again if its that important to u .. then pick up a phone and make reservations to have ur romantic getaway.. why does he have to be the one to initiate everything..??? wheres ur responsibility in this relationship??? ur a grown woman if u want it to happen make it happen..
 
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