Will this story be ok with editing?

SapphireR

New member
(extract)
Leah looked across the classroom and sighed in relief, everyone was there. She had thought that maybe they wouldn’t be there. That they might have disappeared. Like so many others, like the teacher and like her next door neighbors. Leah looked down worriedly, at the newspaper.


MILLIONS DISSAPEAR

Over the course of a week over one million people have disappeared from the Greater London area without cause or explanation. Nothing connects these people, and there is no proof of struggles. One million people can’t just disappear- yet they have. They range in age from babies to elderly people at home. They have disappeared in plain view of their friends, relatives and neighbors. None of the million have re-appeared or communicated with anyone since they disappeared.

Police chiefs around the country have claimed:
“This cannot be the work of an organization or terrorist group. It seems to be like a virus or dare I say it some supernatural occurrence. We advice members of the public to stay in view of their friends and family, and within five meters of others at all times. These ˜disappearances” are said to be occurring across the globe.

Some people are calling this the end of days.


Crying, she looked up to see the whole class looking at her in confusion.
“What’s wrong Leah?”Rio asked and she pointed at the headline.
“Millions of people and it’s not just London! It’s everywhere! People all over are vanishing…” Leah spun round in her seat to see everyone screaming and staring at an empty seat.
“Who was sitting there?” she demanded.
Everyone was too shocked to answer, and then eventually Lisa whispered
“Daniel. That was Daniel.”

They sat there unmoving for what felt like eternity, and then Leah stood up and walked to the front of the classroom.
“It’s not safe. Nothing’s safe here. He disappeared from right under our eyes, and lets face it - we are next. We’ve got to do something. Maybe if we get out of London we might be a little safe” Leah said.
“This is everywhere – nowhere’s safe, you idiot!”
“Look, we’ve got to try, haven’t we?” Leah said reasonably.
People started to nod but refused to move.

"Let's think. When did all this start?" Leah said weakly, turning on the laptop to see if there was anything on the news.
"Last month, remember? The Mayor went missing on live TV"
"What's the point? We're just kids - we can't do anything" came a shout.
"We can try or we can disappear" Leah shouted and grabbed a white board pen.
"Where can we go?" she whispered tapping the pen absentmindedly.
"There's a village about twenty miles from here." Lisa shouted, while Leah was staring at the screen.
"Look!" she said.
On the screen was one article filling the page. "State of Emergency Called. Stay Safe. Avoid Public Meetings. Do not Look For Family, Just Run. Just Run. Oh My God. It's Found Them" was written in block capitals.
"Who wrote that?" she wondered and then scrolled down to find the answer.
" Senior Editor" she gulped.
"What does it say?" someone asked and Leah turned around, tears glistening on her face.
"Just run. Oh my God.It's found them"
"What do we do?"
"RUN!" Leah screamed and they flooded out of the school.

Stopping for breathe, Leah stood on top of a bench and shouted "Follow me". Everyone in the class followed her, not questioning her authority over them, running faster than they had ever run before. Even though they could barely breathe, none of them stopped for even a second, until they had reached an empty field. They had been running for at least half an hour, and collapsing onto the grass, Leah looked around her. She was on a field, a few miles from the centre of London; on the outskirts of the city.

"Is everyone here?" Leah whispered and everyone looked around them in shock.
"Everyone's here" May said, wobbling on her feet.
"We're going to split into groups of six and we're going to run from the city. Stay with your group and don't leave them for any reason. We're going to escape" Leah said, thinking on her feet. Grabbing May,Lisa,Jay,Amy and Sara they started to run again, through the fields; leaving the other children behind.
"Leah. I've just realised something. What's the point in running? Being out of London doesn't make us any safer" May said.
"I know that. But the others don't and... I felt so helpless in that classroom, just like I was waiting to disappear you know?"
Leah shivered, and spun round on her heels. "It felt like there was someone behind me. But there isn't. This is creepy"

May nodded in response and took out her mobile phone, and opened the internet, staring at the homepage.
"Emergency Message" flashed a message and she opened it.
 

imperfecte

New member
This sounds really really interesting! I'd love to read the rest of it! I think you could include more description, and more explantion before you get to the classroom part, but other than that, keep writing this :)
 
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