Women, what will you all do, if your husband is sick, not working and always...

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lily
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...complain about you? My hubi is sick not working for the past two years and i am working and supporting the whole family. But he always hurts me and complains about me for i am not listening to him. If you people in this position, what will you all do?
 
Well the conclusions above are pretty crass!

I have another opinion,,,,,how does he hurt you? what are the complaints?.

I too am off work its been 8 months now, suffered a brain hemorrhage last year.

hospital visits infrequent
At home here you only have the right to leave the house for two hrs in the day.I moved here to be with the woman I love. For six months life stopped, the wife's didn't...you can't come.....see you later then.
If your going to be tired we will go separately, I left early she stayes to the death,to help tidy up after the party.....next day I'm told all is done in regards to cleaning after party...hours later she's off again to help her mum, hours later she returns, I'm the one turning the wasteland into a garden......

Priority elsewhere!

8 months of recovery....she took 0 days off to be with her husband.......plenty to suit her desires.

If it is attempted to discuss my feelings of frustration, its just...
Oh thats different
Its your head thing
She now has the perfect excuse not to bother listening.

I ask for things to do, we live in an old place. Half hearted joint looks for flooring etc, some things have been done but much more could have been done in this time.I would't have been so bored.

On Friday I managed to cut the tendons in my right hand,she was working from home. I drive myself to the hospital as not to disturb her from working.I come home early evening after having been operated on.....still working. this is the day after being told she's had a very easy week....I question why she hasn't been home then before 7pm.

Oh dear walked right into that one......Blame it on his head!.

Some background, I moved to France and gave up everything family ,friends etc. No effort has ever been made to form mutual friends. Her book is full , personal friends ( kept to herself),family are all around. For me its like living with a housemate.

Could anyone imagine its a pleasure to be isolated all day, Its why I ended up on here,for human iteraction. My wife presumes I'm flirting!,looking for someone else!.

So maybe he is bored, frustrated and tired by his condition,try to talk and listen to what he feels and thinks,and find a resolve!.

I love my wife,,but she gets crtisised, then again its the frustration of not being listened to, her easy excuse to shift the highlight elsewhere. Even on occations a third party has been witness and able to agree with me it still bears no effect.
 
I would tell him if he felt that way that theres the door...He is hurting so he wants you to hurt to, dont enable this behavior...Just tell him if he is so sick of you to find someone else that cares, your doing your best and if that isn't good enough he can leave...That will shut him up.
 
listening is the beginning of understanding...... it takes two to dance a tango.

hope you get what i mean
 
I know that has to hurt you. Here you are busting your butt to support your family while your husband recovers and all that you get from him is whining and complaining. Although it will probably be difficult, spend a few moments in his shoes. He is a man that is not physically able to work and provide for his family. He has to rely on his wife, the woman he promised to take care of for the rest of her life and he now has to be dependent upon her. Emotionally he is a wreck and he needs you to save him.

Sometimes men don't know how to express their feelings so they come out in the strangest, most annoying ways. Your job as the woman who loves him is to extend yourself a little further and give him your time. Apparently he feels disconnected from you and will continue to scream and holler until you hear him. 15 minutes a day of your undivided attention will bring life back to normal. Give him what he needs and make sure that you ask for the understanding and appreciation that is sorely lacking currently in your relationship. Marriage is about compromise on all fronts. Good luck.
 
I would suggest couple counceling together to learn to communicate better and to talk about feelings
 
he hurts you?...why you even asking us? LEAVE HIM! grab any kids & GO NOW!!

& get a restraining order.wow your hubby's real sick...in the head. doesnt even appreciate what you do.

if you have to much of a soft heart...you could show him a few hospitals he might like to stay in..so someone can take care of him. but dont bother to much. get yourself out.
 
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