WOOT?!!! ;D... Is this plotline good for a story?

[mm»smmmmmmmmmmmm«mm]

I have posted this before, but could you read it?
Okay, I want to know if you would read this and finish it, if it is interesting and it captures you? I'm also 13, not a very smart one at that and this will not EVER give me an excuse to pass the bad criticism. If I want to be a writer, I'll need to put up with it ;D! also, I had a friend tell me - something that stills keeps me going with this story - Is that.... If you were to make your own world, what would be in it? What obstacles would be along this road for the hero to accomplish, what creatures would this hero have to destroy. What adventures would he/she embark on? I hope that helped some of you people ;D

Here's my idea:

There is a girl named Dahlia Williams, a normal 16 year old girl until her 14 birthday, and since then she had dreaded her 16. When she would move to a boarding school of children with 'special' needs.
She could see the future and past, what had happened before, and what was to come.
She makes a friend called Maddie Klark, which in Dahlias opinion is a very bubbly and sometimes annoying girl. But she doesn't know this girl had come on her own will to protect Dahlia from what was to come, yet she should have seen it in one of her visions. But she does later on, and finds out what Maddie is in the process. (Not vampire or werewolf.) She avoids her and tries to escape the boarding school she oh-so hated fiercely.

But she gets put in the wrongs hands unknowingly, Maddie can't help and Dahlia tells them things she isn't supposed to.
Now the evil people have a headstart.

Is it good? I don't know but I want your opinions. Does this capture your interest and would you read it? I don't have a name for it yet, I want to write the book and base the title on the book, but so far I've got UNREAL. Nothing else and I am totally stumped. If you could give a opinions And a title name, that would help me a lot

thanks! ;D xx
Lol, at least you were honest. Everyone makes mistakes, like I did here.

 

[mmmGhostwritermmm]

Er....it sounds a bit like a sotyr I've read before, someone sent voluntarily to be a "guardian"... seems a bit cliche.

And, "a normal 16 year old girl until her 14 birthday, and since then she had dreaded her 16. "

She is a normal 16 year old girl. And then on her 14th birthday, she began to dread turning 16. WTH??

Edit:
Oh, and by the way, I don't care if you thumbs down me. She asked for an answer, I gave what I thought. End of story. Savvy?

Erm...heh..."KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK..." !!! :|

 

[Matti1]

By what I've read it sounds pretty interesting but it's a little choppy and hard to follow, so here, try this.

THE GIFTED

Dahlia Williams has always been different, after all normal people can't see the past and the future of everyone they touch. Even Dahlia can't choose what she sees or even if she is going to see anything at all. However her "abilities" tend to scare people, so her parents send her away to a boarding school. Dahlia tries to keep her abilities a secret and she succeeds, but one girl seems to show extreme interest in her.

Maddie Klark, also a user, has been sent to the school to protect Dahlia from The Clan, a group of dark users who use their powers for things other than for the good of the people. They plan to use Dahlia for their own benefit. Derek Lawren, a member of The Clan has also shown interest in Dahlia.

Maddie annoys Dahlia so she makes an attempt to run away from the school, but can Maddie stop her before it's too late? Will Derek realize what is actually going on and change his views? Or have The Clan already gained the upper hand?


I'm not sure if this is what you were trying for but it's an option. Also don't use vampires or werewolves in this. You can have the other characters have different powers, it will be lame to insert vamps and werewolves into a story like this.

I hope this helps you.