JasonJunior
New member
- Jan 22, 2011
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A vicar was invited out for dinner to a very swanky restaurant by a favourite nephew and his wife. They perused the menu and all decided on soup starters and steak, cooked very rare, with all the trimmings for their main courses.
When the waiter came over the nephew offered to order for the three of them; "We'll have three soups and three bloody steaks with all the trimmings", he announced. "Oh my goodness", said the vicar with a horrified look on his face, "Surely there is really no need for language like that!"
His nephew smiled and trying to reassure the gentle old man he said, "No uncle, you don't understand, that is the correct way to order very rare steaks in a restaurant of this calibre". "Really?" he asked. "Yes, look here", he said, motioning to a nearby table. "Two bloody steaks waiter", ordered the man on the table next to them, "Certainly sir!" said the waiter. "Well I never", said the old vicar, "You learn something new everyday".
A week later the vicar received the news that a new bishop had been appointed and as part of getting to know the clergymen within his diocese, he was going to pay him a visit on the following Thursday and that the vicar would be expected to entertain, wine and dine him. The vicar, wanting to make a good impression, decided that he would take the bishop to the same restaurant at which he had eaten so well the week before and so he immediately rang the restaurant and booked a table for two for the evening of the bishop's visit.
The day of the visit soon came round, the vicar spent the day showing the bishop his very picturesque church and giving him a conducted tour of his parish. This all went down very well with the bishop and he went up even further in the bishop's estimation when, in the evening, they arrived at the very posh restaurant and were greeted at the door by the smartly dressed Maitre d'. "You are certainly a very impressive host", congratulated the bishop, "And a man of rather sophisticated taste it would seem", "Why thank you, that's very kind of you to say so, I do try to keep abreast of the times", replied the vicar, glowing with pride.
They sat at their table, looked at the menu and both decided on the fish starter and the fillet steaks - very rare. The vicar, rather allowing the bishop's earlier compliments to go to his head, decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to further wow him with his recently gained knowledge of restaurant etiquette. "If he's impressed now", thought the vicar, "How impressed is he going to be when I order the steaks?"
The waiter came over to their table. "Shall I order?" asked the vicar, "Please do", said the bishop. "Right", said the vicar, "We would both like the fish starter, followed by two bloody steaks", "Yes", added the bishop, "And make sure there's plenty of f**king peas!"
When the waiter came over the nephew offered to order for the three of them; "We'll have three soups and three bloody steaks with all the trimmings", he announced. "Oh my goodness", said the vicar with a horrified look on his face, "Surely there is really no need for language like that!"
His nephew smiled and trying to reassure the gentle old man he said, "No uncle, you don't understand, that is the correct way to order very rare steaks in a restaurant of this calibre". "Really?" he asked. "Yes, look here", he said, motioning to a nearby table. "Two bloody steaks waiter", ordered the man on the table next to them, "Certainly sir!" said the waiter. "Well I never", said the old vicar, "You learn something new everyday".
A week later the vicar received the news that a new bishop had been appointed and as part of getting to know the clergymen within his diocese, he was going to pay him a visit on the following Thursday and that the vicar would be expected to entertain, wine and dine him. The vicar, wanting to make a good impression, decided that he would take the bishop to the same restaurant at which he had eaten so well the week before and so he immediately rang the restaurant and booked a table for two for the evening of the bishop's visit.
The day of the visit soon came round, the vicar spent the day showing the bishop his very picturesque church and giving him a conducted tour of his parish. This all went down very well with the bishop and he went up even further in the bishop's estimation when, in the evening, they arrived at the very posh restaurant and were greeted at the door by the smartly dressed Maitre d'. "You are certainly a very impressive host", congratulated the bishop, "And a man of rather sophisticated taste it would seem", "Why thank you, that's very kind of you to say so, I do try to keep abreast of the times", replied the vicar, glowing with pride.
They sat at their table, looked at the menu and both decided on the fish starter and the fillet steaks - very rare. The vicar, rather allowing the bishop's earlier compliments to go to his head, decided that this would be a perfect opportunity to further wow him with his recently gained knowledge of restaurant etiquette. "If he's impressed now", thought the vicar, "How impressed is he going to be when I order the steaks?"
The waiter came over to their table. "Shall I order?" asked the vicar, "Please do", said the bishop. "Right", said the vicar, "We would both like the fish starter, followed by two bloody steaks", "Yes", added the bishop, "And make sure there's plenty of f**king peas!"