Would you want to read this story (sci-fi)?

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CharlotteEmma

New member
If you were having a scan through the science-fiction section in a book shop, would you read this book? (Title and blurb below)


'Cerebral 2222'

'When everyone wants to kill you and the remainders of your family, there's not a lot to do except run. Or fight back.'

The year is 2222, and the teenage boy Markolo Redgins is a little confused as to why the government wants to probe his brain and murder his mother. After escaping from an assassination attempt, he finds a safe haven in H.U., a company dedicated to overthrowing the corrupt government and saving Markolo's butt. However, when your allies are science experiments gone wrong and all who are powerful want your guts turned inside out, what can actually go right?'

Thanks for reading. Honest opinions please, constructive criticism is very welcome :)
Thanks for the opinions, even if you don't like the idea.

To be honest, I don't think the blurb I've written so far conveys what the story is about very well. I'll have to work on that.

Thanks for the honest opinions, though.
 
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SarahAbdullahi

New member
its good but the title sounds quite boring and i wouldnt pick it up a book if it was called cerebral 2222
if i was you i would call it something impressinve and eye catching
 
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tommo2767

New member
Your storyline is so unimaginative. Everyone wants to kill your main character, who cares? Why not write about something worthwhile, the world is a big place, there's no need to add to the pile of fantasy/sci-fi crap out there already by creating another 2 dimensional universe.
 
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joseph_30002001

New member
not really.
not seeing the science fiction part, since it mainly focuses on the murder story (my guess)
try and focus more on science fictiony part more than the murdery part.
otherwise keep the setting in a more realistic time, and add some fiction to it ( this won't make it science fiction though)
the trick to science fiction is to try and imagine what the future might actually be like in a couple of years or if you place yourself in a more simplistic era and describe what modern times might be seen as from this point of view.
 
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michael

Active member
Sounds good. Although I always cringe when when I hear a ridiculous year for a setting. Life in 2222 (although may sound cool) will be unimaginable for us here in 2011.
 
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Diogenes

Member
Too many twos in the title.
Change the date. Most people will stop reading after the third two.
I know it sounds stupid, but publishers look at that sort of thing.
You are on a book shelf with a hundred other books. You loose people with bad titles.

Next,. sounds awfully familiar. Nothing to pull the reader in.
"Oh great, ANOTHER big bad government trying to get us story."

Unless you have some fresh approach, your published will probably pass on this.
There are just too many "big bad government" books out there.
 
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