1-year-old, pregnant and feeling depressed... rant...?

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Zachary'sMummy

New member
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I'm feeling so depressed while my husband is at work and I'm at home with my almost-1-year-old. I'm getting induced next week (obstetric cholestasis) so it won't last forever, but I was wondering if you could give me some tips on interacting with my littel guy.

I feel so bad because I feel like crying all the time. I get really frustrated becuase he **constantly** wants to be picked up. I don't have the energy to pick him up and play with him all day. I haven't even packed my baby bag, or the bag for Zachary (my 1-year-old) when he goes to my parents' when I'm in labour. I was trying to do that earlier today and he pulled my pants off tugging on my leg and whining. He makes this whiny noise for HOURS that drives me NUTS.

I basically cried all morning and he looked at me and cried too, he was so confused and maybe scared because I'm not usually like this. I usually try to smile and play with him all the time... his temperament has changed in the past week or two since I have been acting like this. Also, I'm always telling him "no" because he seems bored all the time and always wants things he can't have, like being picked up, or playing on the washing machine or the stove-top (I have an electric flat stove).

I feel guilty because Im always trying to put him down for a nap so I can get a few hours of peace and quiet. He used to be such a happy baby and he favoured me above anyone else, and lately, he doesn't even want to come to me anymore when daddy's around, he wants daddy and not me. I get the feeling he's bored at home with me, but I have NO energy to take him anywhere, like I used to all the time, to interact or at least be around people.

My husband is supportive when he is home btw, - he even wakes up with Zachary so I can sleep better- but he just works all day and into the evening and it's frustrating.

Anyway, there goes my rant and I was wondering if anyone could give me some tips. Thanks!
 
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AmberM

Member
Do you have a friend or relative who could take him for a little bit to give you a break? Then you could rest or get things done. Maybe even just taking him out for a short walk might help break up his day and he won't seem as bored. Fresh air always seems to tire kids out too so he may rest better for you after that. You are getting so close so at least the end is in sight! Good luck and hope things go well for you!
 
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kck

New member
You're in for a rough road. My biggest piece of advice is when you get your new baby home, remember that your oldest is still really a baby. Don't expect your oldest to act like the "big kid" because he won't. You should make sure his needs are getting met. It's going to be more like having twins. Get and ask for help.
 
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kck

New member
You're in for a rough road. My biggest piece of advice is when you get your new baby home, remember that your oldest is still really a baby. Don't expect your oldest to act like the "big kid" because he won't. You should make sure his needs are getting met. It's going to be more like having twins. Get and ask for help.
 
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MafaldaMay

New member
Ok. Two very important things : 1) You are VERY pregnant, close to labour... and so you are tired and are dealing with lots of hormones. 2) You have Intrahepatic Pregnancy Cholestasis... so you are constantly itchy, probably cannot sleep at all... and so you are very, very, very tired. On top of that, you are getting induced next week, and that is possibly another source of stress for you.

So, yes, it is very likely and absolutely normal that you are depressed and do not have the energy to fulfil all of Zachary's needs. It is a source of distress for both of you, but a temporary one. And as I'm sure you already know, you shouldn't feel guilty. YOU ARE DOING YOUR ABSOLUTE BEST in the circumstances!

You definitely need more support than what you have at the moment. Who is going to be there after delivery to help you? Granted the ICP will go away with the delivery, but you'll be dealing with both a newborn and Zachary in the same time. Is your husband going to take some time off? Are your parents going to keep Zachary with them a little longer?

Is there any way you could get them to take care of him right now so that you could have some time to yourself to get ready physically and mentally for the induction? Is there any way your husband could work a little less and be a little more home with Zach ?

As for Zachary, keep in mind that it is temporary. Focus on the big picture. He'll find you back and will love and want to be with you just as much, if not even more than before.

As for interacting with him, there are so many activities to do with a one-year old, but I doubt you have any energy for that. My impression is that you hardly have enough for yourself. You just need more help from your friends and family at this moment... Is there anybody around you who can help?
 
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mommyof2

Member
I think a lot of it is hormones and maybe some worrying about how you will juggle both kids. I am 25 weeks pregnant with a 16 month old and I find I can't pick him up as much either and I am more tired but luckily he plays with his toys and doesn't seem to mind. i think you need to just let it go and stop blaming yourself and that alone will make you feel better.
 
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mommyof2

Member
I think a lot of it is hormones and maybe some worrying about how you will juggle both kids. I am 25 weeks pregnant with a 16 month old and I find I can't pick him up as much either and I am more tired but luckily he plays with his toys and doesn't seem to mind. i think you need to just let it go and stop blaming yourself and that alone will make you feel better.
 
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true

New member
Aww sweetie. I'm sorry. You are just in a fragile state right now. At the same time remember it isn't your son's fault. And remember also that you don't need to take him on a little trip for him to feel close to you. Maybe just sit him down next to you or take a nap with him on the bed, rub his back/belly to make him feel better.

What you need is someone to help you out at home during the day. Do you have anyone like your mom or your MIL that can come stay with you for a few nights?
 
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