Can someone correct my Narrative Essay Introduction? 10 points for best =)?

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mFutureFlightAttendantm

New member
Sarah Palin Rally 2008

As we neared closer to the Verizon Wireless Music Center, I could feel my palms sweating. The traffic was getting heavier, and I was getting restless. As we were directed to a parking spot, tickets and camara in hand, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Little did I know this experience would alter my soul and create a life long role model for me.

How does that sound? A rought Draft is due tomorrow and I'm panicking. I'm not sure what else needs to go into this. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

10 points for best.
 
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MorganA1

New member
that sounds so good!!!
ur a much better writer than i am.

can u try to help me with my writing issue?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq3mdiOc2MoF5k9YPU.pDtjExQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20090210170934AAMVlLo
 
M

MorganA1

New member
that sounds so good!!!
ur a much better writer than i am.

can u try to help me with my writing issue?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aq3mdiOc2MoF5k9YPU.pDtjExQt.;_ylv=3?qid=20090210170934AAMVlLo
 
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neale

New member
Sarah Palin Rally 2008

As we neared the Verizon Wireless Music Center, I could feel my palms starting to sweat. The traffic was getting heavier, and I was getting restless. We were directed to a parking spot. With tickets and camera in hand, I took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Little did I know this experience would alter my soul and create a life long role model for me.
 
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