Do you know a good 1 liner joke I can share with others?

Shirlgirl

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I've been asked if I know any great short jokes. I really want to come up with a good one and I need help. Crude, rude, clean, mean etc... Anything is cool as long as it's funny and memorable.
 
My girlfriend told me to hold down the bills..so I bought a paperweight..
 
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