Going_Under
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- Oct 23, 2011
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I am a rookie when it comes to writing horror stories, but I want mine to be different from the clichés.
So, this story idea was inspired from an email message. It said something about parents getting a babysitter. As the babysitter was putting the kids in bed, she noticed a clown statue. Either she didn't like clowns or she didn't want the kids to wake up later and freak out when they saw the statue. So the babysitter called the parents and asked if she could cover it up. The father said to get the kids out of the house, that they didn't have a clown statue. Push comes to shove, the kids and the babysitter found killed when the parents arrive home. (The murderer is an escaped serial killer.)
Except I won't have Jonah contact the parents in any way. She's just in the room where the clown is, studying it, and realizes that the eyes belonged to her estranged, used-to-be boyfriend. In the beginning of the story, it starts with Jonah staring at the clown, getting a bad feeling, not sure if the clown is real or not. Later, it sounds like somebody is walking upstairs, even though Jonah and Noah, the boy, are the only ones home. Jonah comes up but sees no difference. Just as she's on the brink of remembering who it is, the clown speaks, raises an axe, misses.
Clowns always have given me a good scare, and I wanted to experiment with it. I'm at the part where I want to kill some characters off; I just don't know how to get them there.
The babysitter's name is Jonah, and she's 24. She's blond, but not the stereotypical blond. She's described as pretty, not beautiful but not plain. Jonah isn't the type that wanders of from the group, she isn't the type that goes in to a room alone, and then SMACK, she is murdered by ... who ever or whatever is killing everyone. She is not naive; Jonah is the one who successfully escapes the murderer's clutches. An ugly name, I know, but it just fit. Talents ... not a lot. Smart, fast.
The kid who really isn't a kid, Noah, is 13. He's just your typical preteen boy. He has a massive crush on Jonah and his infatuation grows deeper and deeper in the story. Noah is hitting the puberty stage, which explains a lot of his traits you gather in the story. He can eat like no other, he is a bit of a pervert, and he considers the clown deal a never-ending nightmare.
His parents have a constantly struggling marriage, and go on a date in hopes to repair it. So they, Mariah and Andrew, are there for most of the time, and fall back in love again. They're able to repair the marriage.
So anyway.
I want Jonah to be buried alive. What I'm thinking: the clown, the murderer, George -- yes, George -- gangs up on her and buries her. Noah and his family also live by the woods, still in town. They are close to the police station, about 10 blocks away from the hospital. As Jonah is getting buried, I want her to fall in love with George. George and Jonah actually used to date, up until his first murder, a family of nine. As if her feelings for George are getting buried deep in the ground, just like her. How could I get her in that situation with out pulling every single cliche in horror movies?
I want Noah to die, as well. His death will be kind of slow and very painful. I'm thinking by a killing cliche, an axe. A shot blown into the back, somewhere towards the kidneys. Jonah will be there right next to him, comforting him. All Noah ever wanted in life: to kiss Jonah. As I said before, Jonah is 24 and Noah is 13, making it slightly hard to manage. So yes, I am planning on having them kiss. It won't be tonsils to tonsils, no heavy French kissing, no tongue, nothing sexy. Nothing all hot. A light, soft peck on the lips, and Noah will die with that image. So any suggestions on how to get him there?
I'm not sure if I want the parents killed or not. But Jonah and Noah will be dead by the time the parents get home.
I know that in horror stories you really have to get the action sequence down, use different adjectives and verbs. I have that part down pretty well.
So ... how to get Jonah buried alive and Noah killed with the axe? Please, help. I just need a simple suggestion, something I can pull a twist with.
If you don't like how I have Jonah's and Noah's death arranged, please, by all means tell me how you want them killed.
Do you think the parents should be murdered?
Answers are treated like cancer -- a successful treatment, of course.
So, this story idea was inspired from an email message. It said something about parents getting a babysitter. As the babysitter was putting the kids in bed, she noticed a clown statue. Either she didn't like clowns or she didn't want the kids to wake up later and freak out when they saw the statue. So the babysitter called the parents and asked if she could cover it up. The father said to get the kids out of the house, that they didn't have a clown statue. Push comes to shove, the kids and the babysitter found killed when the parents arrive home. (The murderer is an escaped serial killer.)
Except I won't have Jonah contact the parents in any way. She's just in the room where the clown is, studying it, and realizes that the eyes belonged to her estranged, used-to-be boyfriend. In the beginning of the story, it starts with Jonah staring at the clown, getting a bad feeling, not sure if the clown is real or not. Later, it sounds like somebody is walking upstairs, even though Jonah and Noah, the boy, are the only ones home. Jonah comes up but sees no difference. Just as she's on the brink of remembering who it is, the clown speaks, raises an axe, misses.
Clowns always have given me a good scare, and I wanted to experiment with it. I'm at the part where I want to kill some characters off; I just don't know how to get them there.
The babysitter's name is Jonah, and she's 24. She's blond, but not the stereotypical blond. She's described as pretty, not beautiful but not plain. Jonah isn't the type that wanders of from the group, she isn't the type that goes in to a room alone, and then SMACK, she is murdered by ... who ever or whatever is killing everyone. She is not naive; Jonah is the one who successfully escapes the murderer's clutches. An ugly name, I know, but it just fit. Talents ... not a lot. Smart, fast.
The kid who really isn't a kid, Noah, is 13. He's just your typical preteen boy. He has a massive crush on Jonah and his infatuation grows deeper and deeper in the story. Noah is hitting the puberty stage, which explains a lot of his traits you gather in the story. He can eat like no other, he is a bit of a pervert, and he considers the clown deal a never-ending nightmare.
His parents have a constantly struggling marriage, and go on a date in hopes to repair it. So they, Mariah and Andrew, are there for most of the time, and fall back in love again. They're able to repair the marriage.
So anyway.
I want Jonah to be buried alive. What I'm thinking: the clown, the murderer, George -- yes, George -- gangs up on her and buries her. Noah and his family also live by the woods, still in town. They are close to the police station, about 10 blocks away from the hospital. As Jonah is getting buried, I want her to fall in love with George. George and Jonah actually used to date, up until his first murder, a family of nine. As if her feelings for George are getting buried deep in the ground, just like her. How could I get her in that situation with out pulling every single cliche in horror movies?
I want Noah to die, as well. His death will be kind of slow and very painful. I'm thinking by a killing cliche, an axe. A shot blown into the back, somewhere towards the kidneys. Jonah will be there right next to him, comforting him. All Noah ever wanted in life: to kiss Jonah. As I said before, Jonah is 24 and Noah is 13, making it slightly hard to manage. So yes, I am planning on having them kiss. It won't be tonsils to tonsils, no heavy French kissing, no tongue, nothing sexy. Nothing all hot. A light, soft peck on the lips, and Noah will die with that image. So any suggestions on how to get him there?
I'm not sure if I want the parents killed or not. But Jonah and Noah will be dead by the time the parents get home.
I know that in horror stories you really have to get the action sequence down, use different adjectives and verbs. I have that part down pretty well.
So ... how to get Jonah buried alive and Noah killed with the axe? Please, help. I just need a simple suggestion, something I can pull a twist with.
If you don't like how I have Jonah's and Noah's death arranged, please, by all means tell me how you want them killed.
Do you think the parents should be murdered?
Answers are treated like cancer -- a successful treatment, of course.