I don't know what to think??? for most of my life i have kept most people at bay, not really trusting anyone. with my friends things will go fine for a while but if something does come up then i feel betrayed, in part because i was somewhere deep down expecting it and in part because their response to my bring it up is oh well. i don't know if it is a kind of self fulfilling prophesy or i am attracting the losers and users of the world or what? recently it has become evident from my dealings with family that just because someone says they love you does not mean they have your best interest at heart, not when it conflicts with their selfish desires. i feel a fear inside that romantically i have only two options, either end up alone or end up with someone just like my family now trapped. i have seen more than a few people end up with a person because they were comfortable with their behavior (it feeling familiar due to upbringing) despite listing their main traits as turnoffs. i don't think i would be able to avoid this, its a fear i cant shake. this fear combined with bad blood with family and a spotty track record with friends leaves me confused? i don't know what to do to get past this, or change things which is what i want. please help with any advice you have thank you.