ok i dont know about u but i love dumb blonde jokes(ps im a brunett) and hopefully if u r a blonde dont take it wrong but here r some of the best...
* there were 2 blondes on their way 2 disney world when they pasted a sign that said disney world left, so they turned around and went home! ( that is my fave hopefully u got it)
* how do u kill a blonde? u but a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool!
*how do u know if a blonde has used a computer? there is white out on the screen!
*how do u make a blondes eyes light up? u shine a flashlight through thier ears!
*why was the blonde so exited? she finished a jigsaw puzzel in 6 months when the box said 2 - 4 yrs. (as in age)
hopefully u got a good laugh out of those i absoulutly love the disney world one and tell all my friends
There were 3 guys in a forest who were trying to run away from cannibals.
The cannibals then said, "If you can bring back 10 of the same food, we won't eat you."
So then, the first guy came back with 10 apples.
The cannibals said "Now stick them up your a*s without changing your facial expression."
He winced at the first apple, so then they ate him.
The second guy came back with 10 berries, and he had to do the same thing.
When he got to the 8th berry, he started to laugh, so the cannibals ate him.
In heaven, the 1st guy said: "You were so close! Why didn't you keep going?"
The second guy said, "Because I saw the third guy coming with pineapples!"
Once upon a time, in a kingdon far, far-away...
There lived a beautiful princess. But she was cursed
with a dreadful enchantment. Whatever she held in
her hands would wither and melt.
Her father, the Sultan, grew worried with each passing
day. It was almost the princess' 18th birthday and he was
worried that nobody would be able to marry her.
So, a day before her birthday, the sultan invited all the
great princes of the neighboring countries to see who
could break the dreaded curse. Whoever could bring
ANYTHING that would not melt and wither under his
daughter's hands would become his son-in-law.
First came Prince Valiant, he brought a GIGANTIC diamond
to the princess. Fair Princess, said he. This is the hardest
stone in our kingdom! Please, take it! The princess took the
egg-sized gemstone...and suddenly, it melted like butter!!!
Valiant went away disappointed.
Next came Prince Arthur, who brought a necklace of solid platinum.
Fair Princess, said he. This is the hardest metal in our kingdom!
Please, take it! The princess took the shiny necklace...and suddenly,
it melted like hot wax!!
Needless to say, Arthur went away heartbroken.
Finally, Prince Amir stepped forward.
Fair Princess, he announced. My gift is inside my pocket.
Please, reach inside and be amazed!
The Princess slowly reached inside prince Amir's trouser pockets...
Felt around for a bit, then her eyes grew wide with wonder and
amazement! It didn't melt! She kissed Amir on the cheeks and declared
that it will be prince Amir who will be her husband.
What was inside Amir's pants?
Take a guess.
Come on...
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!"