my husband used to tell me i was the most beautiful women in the world, as the years (4) have passed that's turned to a "mommy's pretty" once in a while, yes he uses the two year old to hand out his compliments.(yay me) I've caught him looking (hard, not even discretely) at other women sometimes much younger girls. it makes me feel like he now thinks im ugly, he says "I've always done it" but i'm the "crazy" jealous type and i will tell you no he didn't. (i started noticed it last year) i talked to him about it... no results in the long run.
Now I'm eight month pregnant with baby #2 and we haven't been intimate very often for 5 months, now i do realize i expect it far more often then the "average married women" (3+ weekly) i have sort of an addiction to my husband but it been sometimes 0 times in a week or two. hes blamed it on his age our two year old the pregnancy and several other bs excuses then i caught him recently him watching porn, and we fought and later talked about it. i thought it was a fixed problem but i caught him again and had the realization this had been an on going problem (the porn) finally sunk in. he does want to have sex, i practically have to beg and hes not "there" when we do and its been awful! but i haven't told him yet as stupid as that sounds to some i didn't want to hurt his feelings. so no we weren't doing it often anymore, and i still here stupid excuses why he wont sleep with me. hes been going to the gym allot (required for work) which should increase his drive but i have a feeling its just increased the amount of time he spends with his hand.
now i in no way believe im ugly, a trip to the mall even now "proves that" but i feel ugly when my husband looks at me, who wouldn't right? i'm a good mom, an excellent housewife and cook, i try to be a "cool wife" i work out of our home to help with bills and let him have time to himself. i am most men's ideal wife, i only say that b/c all his friends seem to think so and he agrees with them. but i have this constant ache in my chest now a days, i cry allot when hes gone, i feel unwanted, i neglected and i think i feel unattractive, and all in all i have found i didn't want to be nice anymore, i want to yell and fight and make him hurt like i hurt. I've even started to notice his lack in interest in family time, wont take baby girl to the park or play with her really, only leaves the house when there are going to be other people around. i feel like i lost my marriage and i didn't want to? what did i do wrong i just want him to love me like he used to but i'm not even sure he can.
Now I'm eight month pregnant with baby #2 and we haven't been intimate very often for 5 months, now i do realize i expect it far more often then the "average married women" (3+ weekly) i have sort of an addiction to my husband but it been sometimes 0 times in a week or two. hes blamed it on his age our two year old the pregnancy and several other bs excuses then i caught him recently him watching porn, and we fought and later talked about it. i thought it was a fixed problem but i caught him again and had the realization this had been an on going problem (the porn) finally sunk in. he does want to have sex, i practically have to beg and hes not "there" when we do and its been awful! but i haven't told him yet as stupid as that sounds to some i didn't want to hurt his feelings. so no we weren't doing it often anymore, and i still here stupid excuses why he wont sleep with me. hes been going to the gym allot (required for work) which should increase his drive but i have a feeling its just increased the amount of time he spends with his hand.
now i in no way believe im ugly, a trip to the mall even now "proves that" but i feel ugly when my husband looks at me, who wouldn't right? i'm a good mom, an excellent housewife and cook, i try to be a "cool wife" i work out of our home to help with bills and let him have time to himself. i am most men's ideal wife, i only say that b/c all his friends seem to think so and he agrees with them. but i have this constant ache in my chest now a days, i cry allot when hes gone, i feel unwanted, i neglected and i think i feel unattractive, and all in all i have found i didn't want to be nice anymore, i want to yell and fight and make him hurt like i hurt. I've even started to notice his lack in interest in family time, wont take baby girl to the park or play with her really, only leaves the house when there are going to be other people around. i feel like i lost my marriage and i didn't want to? what did i do wrong i just want him to love me like he used to but i'm not even sure he can.