The trick is not to play football, carry on with the same lame-ass, bent attitude you have to life at the moment. Then eventually your parents will be able to work out that you're gay, without you ever needing to kick a ball!
Although I'd imagine they're already pretty suspicious seeing as you secretly wear women's clothing, enjoy the comedy of Catherine Tate and constantly spend all your pocket money on bananas to pleasure yourself with!
Trust me, they're already pretty knowledgeable on the subject of your rampant homosexuality!