I'm depressed because I'm not part of the elite, successful people, like

B

BradPradt

Member
Hollywood, etc. Any advice? This is perhaps the most dumb but true reason that I get negative and depressed. I was raised in a pretty privileged family, who associated with other successful/privileged people ,and all of them seemed to somehow or another succeed, and then there's me. I didn't. I mean I finished school, and have some cool friends, settled down, but I turned out to be gay/bi, and dealt with alot of problems legal issues, bad people surrounding me, health problems, and just never really got my chance to "shine," and I always felt upstaged and overshadowed by many people around me. Then I watch events like the Golden Globes, and I think to myself, my god, I'd love to be a part of a prestigious event and really be a part of something higher in life, yet I'm stuck here in middle class suburbia in the middle of nowhere, with average people who are uninspiring and suck, and also want to drag you down with them. Now I'm not saying that average people are bad, but I seem to have a weird narcissist/elitism thing that I can't get rid of in my head. I seem to think that I belong or want desperately to be a part of something better and higher, but just cannot, and most likely will not, and I can't really cope with that.

I can't live with myself aging/wasting away the rest of my life doing nothing.

I think my problem was, I got a small taste of success when I was younger, and never really got there myself.

I also am very bitter over all the people in life that tried to stop me, and prevent me from being successful and making my life a living hell.

Almost like high school all over again lol.


But everytime I see great movies, award shows, people in important positions in life on the news, I get depressed becuase I wish that I could be those people or something.

I want that, and I have no idea why.

That, combined with my own personal health issues and family issues and sexuality issues, and the few horrible people I have in my life who poison me,...

that all leads to me being very depressed/negative,

and I can't seem to resolve it.

I find myself contacting actors/actresses through some of my friends, who know them, and talk to them and get inspired by them and I just feel like I"m the type of person that always wants to strive for the best,

but it's unrealistic, unhealthy, and also makes me feel like I pale in comparison.


I'm not exactly mentally disturbed, I don't think, but I defnitely have unrealistic expectations of myself and standards, for reasons I don't know,

and it's making me unhappy.

Personally, I think it's because of all the pressures/expectations of my family/friends, who were more successful than I.
this is also why I can get nasty and very negative towards many people who I consider not to be successful, or trashy, or whatever, because I fear that I may end up just like them, or I'm afraid of them rubbing off on me, so I try to push them away as far as possible, and only associate with "winner types."

But I also recognize that this attitude isn't right.



Bottom line: I know I have issues...but I don't know how to resolve them, and they're not major like schizophrenia or anything but..it takes away from my personal enjoyment of life.


If you guys have any solid advice, please let me know! thanks.
 
C

ChrisM

Member
I was like you... But I changed.

It was when I realized that all those things are meaningless, like chasing after the wind.

The real things in life that matter is your spirituality and the family you raise. It's really a decision.

Think of it like this. Will most women ever look like the ladies in the magazines? No. Even after a boob job, face lifts, they'll never be there. Then they get depressed, on prozac and into various forms of psychosis.

If they chose to see what the magazines were, FAKE, they wouldn't had so many years of trouble.

Find value in simplicity.
 
V

VoiceofReason

Member
You are comparing yourself to people in an industry that is built to be ego crushing.

You may think it's the opposite. That you are comparing yourself to people who have all the reason in the world to be self confident and feel good. But if you were raised around Hollywood elite, and experienced it, than you know that celebrities lives are not what you see on The Red Carpet. You know that they live under a microscope, you would know that the headlines and critisism that follow them are hurtfull and that the pressures alone can make them far from perfect.

You would know that say.... Brad Pitt would like to be an average Joe at times and be able to take his kids to the supermarket sometimes without hassle and judgement. Somebody reporting that he wasn't holding the childs hand right, or he picked out groceries with too many carbs, or something else that is derrogatory and ridiculous.You think that the stars don't have the judgement against them that you do? You haven't experienced judgment against you like they do, not the same anyway. They are seen without makeup and people tell them to their faces, "you are ugly without makeup or you don't look good in person" as if they are products without feelings.

You said you had a taste of success earlier.
Well welcome to child star syndrome. Look at Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, Danny Bonnaducci, all the other child stars that grew up only to feel less than and criticized and depressed and angry and crazy. Then even when they try to go to rehab and make their lives better, people STILL judge them poorly for it.

So, stop imagining that celebs have it better. The Oscars is a wonderful night, and a great performance. But it doesn't mean that their lives are perfect.

More important defining moments/events: Your wedding day, the birth of a baby, the first black President, your birthday, helping somebody and feeling good about it inside, Christmas Day......don't tell me you will 'never' experience any of those events. What makes them special? It's certainly not Vera Wang dresses. It's what a successful life is made from....
Most important day for you
The day you learn to love yourself and compare your own experiences to the gift of life rather than to those in tinseltown.

Best wishes to you.
 
L

LynseyC

New member
maby you should try and become friends with people who you put into a lower class than you and you will find that they will bring you back to reality sometimes the winners are really the losers and the losers are really the winners.
i think it is terrible that you think this of people that are not of your standerds.
the only person that can make you happy is you
take yourself out of the situation you are in.
do what you want to do not what other people want you to do and once you find a bit of peace and happiness hopefully your health will improve,
good luck
 
D

DanielOwen

New member
What on earth makes you think these people are "part of something higher in life"? If anything, the opposite is true. If you want to be part of something higher, go and do some volunteer work, or travel the world, or train to become a doctor.
 
R

robbodabbo2004

New member
Get over it .....At least you have what you have most people couldn't say that. You are the only person stopping you, you can't blame people for your short comings. It sounds like you can do whatever you want if you just shut up and do it. I wish I had the choice to mingle with (the elite people) b.s. ......Nah come to think of it I'd rather deal with real people not a bunch of stuck up sticks in the mud....
 
M

Marina

Member
Real life, if you choose to live it, is just as special as being on TV in the Golden Globes. You can feel like the star of your own life, if you change your vantage point away from 'them' to your own specialness which doesn't have to be showcased on a big screen (except the screen in your head). You don't have to have average people gaping at you and demanding your autograph to feel important. It can come from inside. It may be that therapy would help you because you have a lot of pain and damage to be healed.
 
Top