is my story good please rate it n tell me the ups n downs?

leonard

Member
Chapter 1

From the top window of a 21st century flat, on the the 23rd of January at midnight, in the year 2132, it is possible to see the flashing green lights of the modern laboratory of a time travelling scientist fixing the last parts of his time machine. His name is Franklin Henderson, his ancestor were Scottish but his parents had lived in New York ever since they were born. He has been working on his time machine for 50 years.
After every little detail was finished, he stood back from his invention that looked a bit like a small washing machine with loads of little knobs and buttons on the outside but more like a science lab with a computer, detection chips, solar panels and loads of tools from the inside , the exact date and time was showing on the computer screen, and apart from a lever on the right that read backwards, stop and forwards and a lever on the left that read mega-lightning, fast, medium, slow and ultra-slow the room was very organised.
Franklin locked up his lab and went to get ready to leave in his time machine, but he didn’t want to try it straight away because he had to be prepared for it to break if necessary when he got there. First he had a cold shower for he had used all the hot water for his inventions, then he sorted out all his tools so that he was bringing everything that he might need. Afterwards he had a breakfast of bread rolls and porridge because although he was in England his Mother and Father had always loved their Scottish breakfast, but most of the time he just had bacon and eggs.
When inside his time machine he got a bit nervous because saying it didn’t work or it did work but broke when he got there and he wasn’t able to get back; still he had been working on it for fifty years so therefore it would be a very big waste of time to not try an invention he had worked on for more than most of his life so he decided to go ahead with the operation.
First he put the speed gear on ultra slow then he put the direction gear on backwards, at first it didn’t do anything. After a couple of agonizing seconds the time started going back ever so slowly and kept on going until Franklin put the speed gear on slow instead of ultra slow then it went faster still. The machine started making a whirring noise when he put it to medium and it had already gone back one century and we are now in the year 2047, It kept on going making sudden lurks and jerks here and there along the way until he stopped it at 1902, and for a couple of seconds all that could be heard was the whirring of the machine cooling down. After taking a glance at the date he found out that it was 8 o’clock in the morning of the 25th of June 1902.
He stepped out with agonizing caution and saw that where his house would normally have been there was a building that was weird, apart from a name on the front that read Thomas Edison on a golden plaque. He walked up to the green front gate pushed it open with a squeak and walked up the stone path with roses on the side that lead up to a sea blue door, when he was right on front of the door he knocked on Thomas Edison’s door, rapping his knuckles hard just under the number 27 that had been put on the door. There was a pause, and then the door creaked open. There standing in the doorway was a short rosy cheeked house maid that looked like she had a bit been a bit run down lately. ”What do you want?” she snapped. Can I meet Thomas Edison please? I’ve only read about him in books” he asked timidly. “Well, I suppose so, he’s down in his laboratory, come in and meet him if you want” she said.
She stepped back and let him step in to a hall that was decorated with wallpaper that smelled like old granny’s. Even if it was on the same land as his house in 2147 it was nothing like the shape or size of his house. “Mr Edison is in his laboratory, third door on your left, now I really must get on with my work, goodbye” she said quickly, then she walked away into the living room and started fluffing up the cushions on the sofa and chairs. The door that she had indicated before, was in the middle of being painted so it was half pink half brown.
When he opened the door there was a spiral stone staircase that went down and down into the laboratory. There was a noise like some one was welding metal. it sounded as far away as if the laboratory was fifty metres down in the ground! As he walked down the steps, the noise got louder and louder the farther down he went. When he finally got down to the bottom of the stairs, he was wishing he had brought some earmuffs with him. Mr Edison was at the welding machine so he couldn’t see that Franklin had come to see him because of the welding mask that only lets you only see the spark you are working on and sometimes not even that, and he couldn’t hear him because of all the noise. It took several minutes before Thomas took his mask off and saw Franklin, who while the wait had taken in every little detail of the roo
 
Top