BrettStucki
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- Mar 29, 2011
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...You! Please Read? Hi, I am writing a story for my class. In my class we have to write things and turn them in to him every week. He always makes us write about really stupid boring things, so I asked him if we could do a free write, where we can write about anything we want. He said sure. I love writing, it's my hobby. I like writing about fantasy fiction (fake stuff, dragons, etc.) So that's why I asked him for a free write because I love writing my own stories that I make up. Which is fiction. So anyway, he assigned a free write to us and I am writing a story. I would like an honest opinion on how it is please. By the way, it's what I have so far I am not finished. Tell me if it is good or not. Also please only answer this if you like to read Fiction/Fantasy etc, or if you like to write this kind of stuff also. Thanks, oh and by the way I am (12) years old in the 6th grade. Thanks here's the story. Please read it you can do it! It would make me so happy! Here it is.
Drew, he's, he's beautiful." Rayna stuttered. Rayna was rocking the baby in her arms in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Drew nodded. Drew walked over to Rayna and gently picked up the newborn baby boy. "Yes he is honey." Dr. Byron walked out from the corner he was standing in. "What a beautiful baby you have there Mrs. Harum". Rayna smiled at the doctor. Drew politely motioned for the doctor to leave. Dr. Byron silently slipped out of the room. "I believe he's the one." "The special Draemon." "The mark won't show up for a long time." "But I have my hunch he's the special arrival that was talked about in the ancient prophecy." Drew said. Rayna said scardely "But, what if he denies the final transformation." "Oh, honey he won't you can see it in his eyes." "You are going to be a fine half man." Drew said with faith as he stared into the newborns eyes. Drew whispered into the babies ears "You are the special Draemon, I can see it." "I just know it." Rayna stared at the baby with a twinkle in her eye "What should we name the cute little fellow." She said. Drew stared at the baby with even more intensity. "Well, a special baby needs a special name." "How about Drake." Drew said. "No, no Drew argued with himself, to un-original." "How about Drae?" he said. Rayna brushed back her hair, " I, love it Drew." Rayna got up out of the hospital bed slowly and walked over the Drew holding the baby. Rayna kissed the baby on the forehead and whispered in his ear "Drae." "Fits you perfectly".
"Awww, how sad, dorky Drae is mopping the floor again." "Boo hoo, to bad mommy isn't here to save you." Taunted Kyler. The rest of Kyler's bully gang was standing in a circle behind Kyler sticking there tounges out at me. Kyler was the school menace, a real jerk. He picked on everyone, but me the most. I was laying down in the middle of the hall of my middle school, sprawled out on the floor, and he was standing over me with dirty pig eyes. Kyler did this to me almost everyday, shoved me on the floor, calls me names, while his posse watches like it's a funny movie. I lay there while his dirty pig stare boared into me. I felt helpless yet again. He stood there laughing over my body. This was the last straw. All the times he has shoved me around and bullied me rushed through my veins. All of a sudden there was a sudden burst of energy inside me, my stomach was burning, I could feel flames surging through my body. It was like I wasn't even controlling my own body, an instinct took over. I stood up from the ground and looked at Kyler in the eyes, I made a sly smile, and my eyes were burning fiery red. Then, I opened my mouth. "I've had enough." I widened my mouth and felt flames surging through my throat. A blast of fire came blasting out of my mouth, twisting and spiraling. The flames danced all over Kyle's tall body. He wasn't so tough now. Kyle was screaming like a little girl running around in circles. His gang ran off, like chickens. Kyle had a terrified look on his face. He said "Wha, what, did you do owww!" I smiled, and then started to stumble. The world was spinning around me, I felt dizzy, and then it all went black.
"Honey, it's happening." Drew said. Drew and Rayna were standing over Drae while he was blacked out. "He blew his first fire that is a sign that the final transformation is happening." Drew said. Rayna said " I am so proud of him, he is finally 12 he can now be a complete Draemon, well if he accepts..." Drew said "He will, Drae will soon be out of the black out from his fire blast." Rayna frowned "I wish we could tell him about who he is before he is 12." "This is all going to shock him." "H
Drew, he's, he's beautiful." Rayna stuttered. Rayna was rocking the baby in her arms in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Drew nodded. Drew walked over to Rayna and gently picked up the newborn baby boy. "Yes he is honey." Dr. Byron walked out from the corner he was standing in. "What a beautiful baby you have there Mrs. Harum". Rayna smiled at the doctor. Drew politely motioned for the doctor to leave. Dr. Byron silently slipped out of the room. "I believe he's the one." "The special Draemon." "The mark won't show up for a long time." "But I have my hunch he's the special arrival that was talked about in the ancient prophecy." Drew said. Rayna said scardely "But, what if he denies the final transformation." "Oh, honey he won't you can see it in his eyes." "You are going to be a fine half man." Drew said with faith as he stared into the newborns eyes. Drew whispered into the babies ears "You are the special Draemon, I can see it." "I just know it." Rayna stared at the baby with a twinkle in her eye "What should we name the cute little fellow." She said. Drew stared at the baby with even more intensity. "Well, a special baby needs a special name." "How about Drake." Drew said. "No, no Drew argued with himself, to un-original." "How about Drae?" he said. Rayna brushed back her hair, " I, love it Drew." Rayna got up out of the hospital bed slowly and walked over the Drew holding the baby. Rayna kissed the baby on the forehead and whispered in his ear "Drae." "Fits you perfectly".
"Awww, how sad, dorky Drae is mopping the floor again." "Boo hoo, to bad mommy isn't here to save you." Taunted Kyler. The rest of Kyler's bully gang was standing in a circle behind Kyler sticking there tounges out at me. Kyler was the school menace, a real jerk. He picked on everyone, but me the most. I was laying down in the middle of the hall of my middle school, sprawled out on the floor, and he was standing over me with dirty pig eyes. Kyler did this to me almost everyday, shoved me on the floor, calls me names, while his posse watches like it's a funny movie. I lay there while his dirty pig stare boared into me. I felt helpless yet again. He stood there laughing over my body. This was the last straw. All the times he has shoved me around and bullied me rushed through my veins. All of a sudden there was a sudden burst of energy inside me, my stomach was burning, I could feel flames surging through my body. It was like I wasn't even controlling my own body, an instinct took over. I stood up from the ground and looked at Kyler in the eyes, I made a sly smile, and my eyes were burning fiery red. Then, I opened my mouth. "I've had enough." I widened my mouth and felt flames surging through my throat. A blast of fire came blasting out of my mouth, twisting and spiraling. The flames danced all over Kyle's tall body. He wasn't so tough now. Kyle was screaming like a little girl running around in circles. His gang ran off, like chickens. Kyle had a terrified look on his face. He said "Wha, what, did you do owww!" I smiled, and then started to stumble. The world was spinning around me, I felt dizzy, and then it all went black.
"Honey, it's happening." Drew said. Drew and Rayna were standing over Drae while he was blacked out. "He blew his first fire that is a sign that the final transformation is happening." Drew said. Rayna said " I am so proud of him, he is finally 12 he can now be a complete Draemon, well if he accepts..." Drew said "He will, Drae will soon be out of the black out from his fire blast." Rayna frowned "I wish we could tell him about who he is before he is 12." "This is all going to shock him." "H