just venting. feel free to comment?

[mmm27mmm]

so, this isn't really a question but more of just a way to vent. because there really is no one i know who i could tell and would understand. i mean like, yeahh i have plenty of friends i could tell, but they just wouldn't get it. so maybe someone i don't know will get where i'm coming from or can relate to my situation? i hope..
okayy so yess, this is about a guy. i met him last year in school. he was a senior and i was a freshman. we became really good friends and i told him everything and he told me too. things happened to affect our friendship, that was usually my fault, but i always fixed it. then one time it was really bad. a friend of my friend had been starting rumors that me and my friend liked each other and it went on for too long so i asked him to stop in many words. he said he was sorry and told me that my friend may not be as good of a friend to me as i thought he was. he said that he made fun of me and made jokes about me dying. i finally confronted my friend and asked him if it was true? he said it wasn't. i didn't know who i believed, the guy who told me ( he's like the biggest idiot ever, but idk why he would lie about that) or my best guy friend. so i decided to trust my friend and told him. even though we settled everything, things were never really the same after that.
yes, i did like him and we had a convo about it and i told him that i did. but then i told him a few days later that i was over him, not to be mean but just because i couldn't like someone who was kinda a jerk to me (bc he was, he lied about somethings and was just a n idiot sometimes). we were still friends but then he graduated and we kinda just drifted. we talked here and there and saw each other sometimes in stores and all. now we don't talk at all..
he has a girlfriend and it turns out that i realized i still like him. i don't think i ever really actually got over him. i just felt like i had to. now i see all these nice pics of him and his girlfriend on facebook and they look so happy and the things they write to each other are soo sweet and i just keep thinking that i with i was that girl. my friends all thought that he was stupid and that i should just forget about him. but they didn't know him like i did. i keep wanting to text him but i know i can't or i might make myself feel even worse..
so that's it. :/
any thoughts?
thanks for readingg?

 

[MP3]

I know exactly what you're going through, girl. You're not alone. My story is strikingly similar to yours. It was last year and he was a senior and I was a sophomore. We had one class together and that was when we became friends over the school year. After a few months, I discovered that I liked him, but he had a girlfriend. This is where the story starts to sound different.. His girlfriend lives in the UK and he lives in the US. He told me how much he loves her and how he'll never leave her and it hurt me in a way I can't imagine. Here I was, possibly finding a new love and he's telling me how he'll never leave this girl he's never officially met. Now the story starts merging with yours...It's been a whole year and we still talk every now and then on Skype, but I never see him. I thought I was over him, but my feelings came back and now I want him to know how I feel, but I don't want to hurt him.

I wouldn't call this advice, but now you know you're not alone.

 

[Ashleigh]

Are you glad that is off your chest? Good for you. now go and find a friend to talk/gossip with.

 

[Kylie]

I know exactly where your coming from. I had this guy who was my friend. Then we became more then friends. Then thought it was weird and affecting our friendship. So we went back to just friends and I thought I was over him for years then he popped back up one day and was taken and I realized I wasn't over him in the least. I think it is natural to want something that we could have had and maybe a way of regretting it or something so we get jealous and what not because we feel like the guy was ours first. At least those were my feelings. It took a long time to get over him and I am not 100 percent that I am and its been 3 years.