Make a wish, .. and have it corrupted!

granted. a week later you lose your memory and you forget who you are

i wish i had a lean mean fat george forman grilling machine! "im so proud of it, i put my name on it!"
 
granted, unfortunately you didnt read the fine print which states George Foreman can plough your girl whenever he wants.. he so proud of it! he puts his..... well you see where im going with this

i wish the girl sitting across from me would take her clothes off and start pole dancing
 
Granted, but it turns out she's actually a he...

I wish I'd taken some decent shoes with me on Saturday so I could have taken part in our TKD demo which turned out to be on a rough splintery wooden stage.
 
Granted. You get ran down by hoards of angry simpsons fans, who hold you down and chant "howdy doodly, neighbourino" and other Ned-isms in your ear for the rest of time.
 
Granted, although the stage is also worn down in other ways that cause you to twist your ankle during the demo!

I wish I could play jazz...
 
Granted. You now realise that their arses aren't naturally red - it's just a result of their "social antics"!

I wish my nose would stop running.
 
Wish Granted, but before you can read it you slip on a banana peel land on a skateboard roll down a hill hit a chicken (that was crossing the road) then (because one just appeared) fall down and esaclator for half an hour. when the escalator finally stops the book flies out of your hands and into a conveiniently place bonfire.......

I wish for a 40,000 ton bowl of Rasin Bran!
 
Granted, but you fall in while eating and the stuff is like quicksand... you meet an untimely demise...

I wish they'd make a movie of The Silmarillion...
 
Granted- however it is 72 hours long and you sleep throught the most important bits

I wish that I had an advance copy of MGS4
 
Granted, however you play it for 3 hours without saving and the game freezes.

I wish I had a power rack (squat rack).
 
granted but you get transported to ancient egypt and don't speak the dialect so nobody believes in you and you spend all your days searching for and consuming scraps of grain until you eventually die of starvation and the helpful beatings delivered by the owners of the crops.

i wish that my best friend would be eternally happy.
 
granted- he gets everones happiness, including yours, so everone, including you, commits suicide and he becomes sad because he is lonely

I wish that slipknot, evanescance and linkin park died in a mysterious "accident"
 
Granted. Now everyone suddenly misses them and in tribute, their music is played absolutely everywhere for a solid 5 years.

I wish it wasn't getting cold outside.
 
granted, by a freak turn of events an asteroid passes near the earth and pushes it out of orbit, slightly nearer to the Sun so we suddenly get a lot hotter, the polar ice-caps melt and millions of coastal towns and cities are underwater. and it's all your fault.

i wish my hamstring hadn't torn (or whatever it did) in karate this evening!!! ow!!!
 
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