My Husband and I argue all the time I thought about divorce but I have two kids...

FoodChatty

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...with him? LLet me start from the beginning. Back in 2008 my husband and I both talk about getting out of the Navy I was going to open up my own business and he was going to become a realtor. I kept asking my husband if he was sure because I thought deep down inside he wasn't but he kept insuring me he was. So we both got out. Everything went great on my side but after a year I was working really hard and supporting the family on my own. And my husband wasn’t doing anything he was suppose to do he keep making empty promises so that’s when the arguing started. I broke his play station 3 because he would stay up all night playing it and be lazy the next day. I told him he was lazy and that game was his priority but things turn really ugly when we were over a friend’s house and his friend told me that my husband said he never wanted to get out that I pressured him. I grew very angry because this was not true. I ask him over and over to make sure he was sure because I had my thoughts I ask him why he didn't tell me. He said he did that I didn't remember. I told him I would remember something like that I'm not stupid that a really big decision. He blames me for getting out because I told him when we first meet I didn't want to marry someone who spent there whole life in the military. He misunderstood me. I never said he had to get out if he was not ready besides I told him that almost five years ago. This relationship has turn so bad that I spent a night in jail because I hit him for getting in my way. Now I don't know what to do I just feel like I hate him so much. I don't want him to touch me or even look at me. I tried working it out but I just can’t bring myself to love him and think happy thoughts about him I find myself crying all the time. Every time I try to talk to him about things he says I do it to I’E. I told him he lies to me and I can’t depend on him and he said I lied to him to but he never tells me what I lied about. I want to leave but I just don’t want to mess up my kid’s lives I hear so many things about divorce parents with kids I'm just so stress. I don't know what to do. It’s affecting me so much that I can’t pay attention to my own work and I am losing money. Our bills are so behind. Today I told him I was working on a paper for my business that he would have to get the kids ready for church. But he told me I needed to get them ready because he has to pick up some guy he met and take him to church we got into another fight because I called him stupid I told him how can you go pick up a guy and you have not even got yourself or your family ready yet. Sometimes I just don’t understand him. I ask another guy and he told me something about guys have a nothing box. I think my husband brain is just empty. I need help I’m about to lose my mind. I haven’t told my family because I don’t want them in my business. I didn’t want my life like this. Please help me.
 
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