My mom told me gay PDA makes people uncomfortable?

P

psychopsycho

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I'm gay and recently had a discussion with my mom about gays showing affection in public because I have a boyfriend. I told her hugs, small kisses and holding hands in public is what we do. This is what I'm comfortable doing in public. Honestly I could care less what people are doing in public, I just know what my own comfort level is with doing it...
I also know PDA does make people uncomfortable.. but what I described above shouldn't make too many people uncomfortable except the homophobes, and lonely prudes. And my mom wants me to cater to these people. Particularly the homophobes. Her actual words were "Why don't you think of other people? You only care about yourself!" ...um why should I care what people I don't even know think if I'm doing nothing wrong? I've never even been confronted. I've actually only heard positive things when we hold hands and such.
I feel like my mom is telling me to hide who I am or essentially repress my homosexuality. I did choose this, but I'm able to embrace it so why doesn't she want me to be happy?
What can I tell her to prove she is wrong?
I'd like to clarify that I make it a point not to display affection with my boyfriend in front of any family because that makes ME uncomfortable... anyone else though.. I just don't see the problem she has?
 
"Oh ok mom, I'll just go ahead and please people who completely hate who I am just to make them and you happier and make me feel uncomfortable. Seriously woman, I am your son, I think you need to review your priorities"
 
Well, honestly she does have a point. Any PDA, gay or straight makes me uncomfortable sometimes. If I'm in a good mood I'll think it's cute, but more often than not it can come off as annoying or awkward. And yes, even people who don't normally consider themselves homophobic might get aggravated at gay PDA, especially if they have children with or something. That being said I've shown PDA with many boyfriends in very public places (including right in the middle of the biggest mall in the Chicagoland area) and I've never gotten jumped or anything. I hear the occasional "What the hell?!" and a lot of murmurs and whispers, but I just ignore them, I don't do it to put on a show. My mom's told me before the only reason no one's tried to mess with me physically is because I'm a pretty big guy (really tall, broad shoulders, etc.) so no one wants to mess with me. Who knows, she could be right. But yeah the point is, PDA's in general make people uncomfortable, so if you're gay expect to draw a lot of attention to yourself.
 
Don't tell her anything.
Every chance you get just make out with your boyfriend in front of her.
Don't stop doing what you do and have been doing just to make strangers feel...'comfortable'

:)
 
thats not PDA thats soo..just...natural..what you do.

tell your mom PDA could be so much worse, how do you like it when we see straight people making out with their significant other on a park bench. its gross.

yet..if a married couple can walk around holding hands...your damn right im gonna do it with my boyfriend. =]
 
What you mention sounds perfectly innocent as long as it's not excessive. I know a few couples who are CONSTANTLY kissing and touching - like every 3 seconds - and it gets annoying after a while, but if that's not you then don't worry about it.

As for your mom's attitude... I don't know where you're from, but if your mom is worried about the homophobes specifically, then it might be that she's concerned about your safety rather than other people's comfort. As a parent her strongest instinct is to protect you and even if the odds are small, the notion that someone MIGHT hurt you just because of who you love is a very scary thing (my brother is 27 years old, 6'2 and over 200 lbs, but I STILL worry about him and his bf).

Maybe mention to her that the reactions you've received have all been positive, but don't just dismiss her fears. Granted, she's not expressing herself particularly well, but that might be because she's worried. If she's supportive of your relationship in general, maybe consider giving her the benefit of the doubt on this one?
 
Who owns this problem? It seems to me that if somebody does not like to see two people who care about each other they can just avert their eyes.

The concept of boundaries applies here. They don't have to look at you while you are doing something that arouses their Jeebus-brand knee jerk bigotry response. They can just read their Bible until the two of you walk on by. But there is a boundary between what they like and what you can do.

We all see things we don't like sometimes, I saw Sarah Palin on the news one time, so I changed the freaking channel - problem solved.

If somebody has a problem with your PDA with your bf, then *they* have a problem. You don't have a problem, you have a boyfriend.
 
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