I just wrote this, so it's not as good as what I'd like it to be. I'm exercising writing in an active voice as I often switch to passive, which really bogs-down my writing. Let my know what you think and how I can improve!
(Also this isn't really an introductory paragraph, it's more of the beginning/end of a scene or chapter).
“Carmila!”
I turned. Boon ran to me; the knife glinted in his hand.
“Boon,” I breathed. Blood trailed along his arm and dripped from the knife’s razor edge. My eyes flashed to his shredded shirt and the gash on his arm.
“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”
I resisted hugging him as he reached me. I searched for his gaze as my fingers hovered over his injured arm. The knife glinted with warning.
“Boon…put down the knife,” I murmured. His blue eyes fixed with mine. I pushed his dark, reckless hair out of his face and ran my fingertips down his bloodied face, along his stiff jaw...he winced and gripped the knife. I fought back the tears.
“Oh, Boon,” I sighed, “what’ve you done?”
He stepped closer. His hot breath brushed past my neck.
“You trust me, right Lil?”
“Yes, Boon,” I lied. He went to push back my hair, and hesitated. “Boon, you-“ His lips were on mine. He pulled me in and I succumbed to the heat of his body against mine. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him back; I trusted him. He kissed me harder.
Boon pulled away and clutched his arm. Clang, the knife hit the ground.
“Shit.”
“Sorry I-“
“Don’t,” he said, “I…” He took his hand away from the gash and inspected the blood on his hand.
“Here Boon, let me help you.”
“It’s alright Lil, I’ve got it under control.” He forced a smile, and then grimaced in pain.
“I wasn’t talking about your arm.” His eyes found mine.
“Neither was I.”
I mean, let *mE* know what you think.
(Also this isn't really an introductory paragraph, it's more of the beginning/end of a scene or chapter).
“Carmila!”
I turned. Boon ran to me; the knife glinted in his hand.
“Boon,” I breathed. Blood trailed along his arm and dripped from the knife’s razor edge. My eyes flashed to his shredded shirt and the gash on his arm.
“What the hell happened? Are you okay?”
I resisted hugging him as he reached me. I searched for his gaze as my fingers hovered over his injured arm. The knife glinted with warning.
“Boon…put down the knife,” I murmured. His blue eyes fixed with mine. I pushed his dark, reckless hair out of his face and ran my fingertips down his bloodied face, along his stiff jaw...he winced and gripped the knife. I fought back the tears.
“Oh, Boon,” I sighed, “what’ve you done?”
He stepped closer. His hot breath brushed past my neck.
“You trust me, right Lil?”
“Yes, Boon,” I lied. He went to push back my hair, and hesitated. “Boon, you-“ His lips were on mine. He pulled me in and I succumbed to the heat of his body against mine. I threaded my fingers through his hair and kissed him back; I trusted him. He kissed me harder.
Boon pulled away and clutched his arm. Clang, the knife hit the ground.
“Shit.”
“Sorry I-“
“Don’t,” he said, “I…” He took his hand away from the gash and inspected the blood on his hand.
“Here Boon, let me help you.”
“It’s alright Lil, I’ve got it under control.” He forced a smile, and then grimaced in pain.
“I wasn’t talking about your arm.” His eyes found mine.
“Neither was I.”
I mean, let *mE* know what you think.