Plot line help for a sci-fi/ action adventure story set in the mid-1900's?

Cloudkill

New member
Here it goes: Joel Carter, a highly trained former Nazi spy and assassin, is arrested and charged for murder/war crimes. He is sentenced to die in Britain, but as the day of his execution nears, he is visited by Susan White, a pretty but elderly scientist. She tells him that she works for a UN-supported company called the WRI (World Research and Inspection), and requests his assistance as a fieldman in controlling a certain situation in Europe. In exchange, his sentence will be indefinitely suspended. Basically strange, humanoid creatures (I have to figure out a name for them. "Innocents"? "Half-shadows?" IDK) have been causing seemingly random trouble in Europe. The company, with the help of a Russian named Demas and his private group of elite soldiers, are trying to find out more about these creatures. Over the course of the story, it is revealed that these things were humans, and their purposes are not random, but rather are a strategic threat to civilization. Somehow or another (I need to figure this out), Demas betrays Joel and the WRI, and the company is ruined+ Susan White is killed. Joel becomes an outcast. Later, Joel and Demas are to cross paths again, but Demas ends up being killed by the apparent leader of the creatures, the only one that can talk and reason with great intelligence.
I still have to figure out a lot of this story and how to fit the world's big players (world powers, UN, etc.) into the tale in a good, non-cheesy way. Does the plot sound good so far? Any suggestions?
P.S.: The WRI is a passive research group: they are simply studying and monitoring world conditions (thus the support from the UN). Joel is a field-man for him, since he is skilled enough to possibly catch one of these creatures and bring it in for testing. He's kind of like a "guinea-pig" for the WRI.
 

john

Active member
Wow, this book sounds really good! I will definitely buy it when it comes out, let me assure you.

I can tell you that you are definitely on the right track with this story. I've always liked reoccurring enemies and if you plan on making more books in this series after this one then I recommend that you keep Demas alive (who actually sounds pretty cool). Also, you could make it make it so that his seemingly "private" group of soldiers is actually working for the Russian government to obtain information about or even capture the leader of these creatures. That could explain the reason why he betrays Joel and the WRI (based on their name, maybe they just want to study and understand these creatures?), and possibly even set the stage for a larger-scale, alternate history conflict between the UN and Russia. Ultimately, though, it's up to you.

Good luck with your story!
 
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