Christopher
Member
- Jun 3, 2008
- 356
- 0
- 16
Got some lyrics here... tell me what you think
I sit down, Look around, grab the pen and pad
Open up my mind to the Thoughts, both the Good and the Bad
The ones I've got of my mom, the ones I've got of my dad
The ones of my past that make a grown man weary and sad
Everything that I've had, I sit and I think, and upon them I dwell
What have I done? What have I said? Am I going to Hell?
I can't deal, my mind perverted and twisted up like a Tornado dealt with the steel
It's got me feeling surreal, I mean it's feeling so real
Why is it all of my checks say "Good Luck, it's yo Deal!"
I know, it's cause they fixin to Bounce
Faster than yo dealer when the cop found his ounce
......
All I got right now... I just wrote this on the spot after I clicked "Ask a Question" BTW lol, what do y'all think???
and if you don't like it, please don't trash it and all... just constructive criticism please...
Thanks Latj, yeah you rated my Verse a few months ago, when I first came back to the RHH section... and yeah, I understand what you're saying about the last verse... I was getting it together pretty well, and then lost my train of though and just rhymed it lol
I sit down, Look around, grab the pen and pad
Open up my mind to the Thoughts, both the Good and the Bad
The ones I've got of my mom, the ones I've got of my dad
The ones of my past that make a grown man weary and sad
Everything that I've had, I sit and I think, and upon them I dwell
What have I done? What have I said? Am I going to Hell?
I can't deal, my mind perverted and twisted up like a Tornado dealt with the steel
It's got me feeling surreal, I mean it's feeling so real
Why is it all of my checks say "Good Luck, it's yo Deal!"
I know, it's cause they fixin to Bounce
Faster than yo dealer when the cop found his ounce
......
All I got right now... I just wrote this on the spot after I clicked "Ask a Question" BTW lol, what do y'all think???
and if you don't like it, please don't trash it and all... just constructive criticism please...
Thanks Latj, yeah you rated my Verse a few months ago, when I first came back to the RHH section... and yeah, I understand what you're saying about the last verse... I was getting it together pretty well, and then lost my train of though and just rhymed it lol