grr having to leave norway. flying in approx. 17 hours. from here to london heathrow, loiter there 3 hours, then flying across ze atlantic back to buenos aires, there to start securing the means to my return.
Today I sat for an hour with a blister pack of co-codamol and a glass of water, daring myself to take the lot and have done with. In the end, I got through 2 of them-nothing like enough to kill a person- before I chickened out.
I don't really know why, it just happens from time to time. I get down and the futility and hopelessness starts to get to me. The first time it happened I was 14, and my life wasn't going so well. I'd get beaten up at school, punished by the teachers for fighting, then beaten up at home for getting into trouble at school. I'd had enough, my life was hell and I didn't want to live any more. And now, I don't know, my life is OK I guess, I just go back to that place from time to time.
Damn I wish I was somebody else.
Definitely. I have an ex who had similar problems. She told me the first and most important thing is to get professional help for the sufferer. Do it ASAP.
dave, you are hereby forbidden to kill yourself until i've managed to get myself to wales to visit you. if you do not comply, i will bring you back to life and sodomize your nipples.
I don't want to make you feel any worse, but cocodamol would probably just give you an upset stomach, even in large quantities. Whatever the meds council is called stopped non prescription access to anything stronger like coproxamol which I took my last ones in 2005 so was in a way lucky because they are lethal, which with several other meds got me sectioned. This is probably an ill advised post and may delete later but anyway, going on can't remember how or if I dug myself out of that hole. I pushed my fitness a bit, cut off people I considered fair weather friends. I started going to gigs more and films, went back to doing contemporary dance so wasn't completely shut away in my own world but defensive yep. Even now I have to remind myself I do interests because I like them and keeping busy tends to fill void, this can go into overtraining but hey ho better than nothing.
I've just managed to spill half a cup of tea on my sofa GRRRRR